Ra Ragga: My Life With The Haters

Are you threatened by this?

I am no stranger to the anti-polygamist movement.  In fact, they are the whole reason I entered this shit parade.  Back in 2007, Flora Jessop, aka Tweaking Scarecrow, published my name in some court documents, spreading lies against me.  I blogged about it here.  I realized something about the anti-polygamists then and there.  They are willing to lie their asses off to obtain their agenda.  Truth doesn't matter to them.  Insinuation is presented as fact.  Gossip is stated as gospel.  Character assassination is a viable tactic.  They don't need to know you.  They don't need to understand your circumstance.  All they know is that you are a polygamist, and, for that, you are going down!

Admittedly, not all of them are like that.  I have come across some anti-polygamists that are respectful and courteous.  Check out this correspondence I had.  My rule of thumb is this - if they are willing to have legitimate talks with polygamists, sit down at the table and have earnest dialogue, then I will return that respect.

After all, polygamists are not going anywhere.  You cannot eradicate them, you cannot do away with them, or prevent them from living this lifestyle - even at the threat of imprisonment, even at the threat of murder.  We have endured those, and WE ARE NOT GOING AWAY anytime soon.  So you might as well deal with it and use reason and logic to come up with legitimate solutions to deal with the perceived problems with polygamists, including the polygamists in these solutions.  That is the only thing that makes sense.

But the rabid anti-polygamists refuse to enter this sort of discussion.  They want blood, and they do not listen to reason.  These are the sort that I disrespect.  They are the real fanatics, and I have no problem labeling them what they are - a hate group.  A genuine hate group, right alongside the Ku Klux Klan.  Except this group of cheerless, sexless, unfulfilled, nosy, bitter, flatulent hate mongers have the ears of law enforcement, legislators, social service agencies, and mostly the media.  Sad, sad people.  They will not be satisfied short of a pogrom - all children removed from polygamous homes, all plural wives shipped into forced "rehabilitation", and all polygamist men behind bars or dead.  They want nothing short of ethnic cleansing.

The whole reason that I started blogging, going on international television, on public radio, doing interviews, etc., was to defend myself.  I realized that most people assume that polygamists are too backward, too uneducated, not verbose enough to mount a well-thought defense.  Most people assume that polygamists will say or do nothing in response to vicious attacks in the media.  They thought that about me.  They were wrong.  I refuse to give the hate-whores the opportunity to speak lies about me, or any other polygamists, without me shooting off some furious blog post in retaliation.  I will always speak my mind, and, trust me, I have plenty to say.  Thanks to polygamists like Kody Brown, Brady Williams, and Nathan Collier, polygamy is getting a new face.

Fortunately, since I am no longer a polygamist, I pass under the radar of the antis.  Since I only have one wife, I am no longer relevant, but I have dealt with the antis time and time again over the past decade.  Usually, their modus operandi is the same - they infiltrate forums where polygamists discuss online, using fake profiles.  Many, many fake profiles - most of them probably the same person.  Their purpose is to troll, gather information, and discredit as many polygamists as they can.  They are vicious and unrelenting.  By now, I am pretty good at spotting the antis in a group, and I am not afraid to call them out on it.

Anyway, I am telling a story with this,  Earlier this summer, I was asked by Kendra to help moderate a discussion site.  Kendra is a close friend to the Brown family of "Sister Wives" fame, and, over the years, she has been an online defender of the family.  For these years, I have been a part of these sites, but I pay them little attention.  The drama gets too much for me, sometimes.  She asked me to help her moderate the group, because it was overrun by antis.  Previously, she had Nathan Collier as an admin, but he dropped out due to the chaos.

So I stepped in as an admin to a group that had well over 1,500 members - and the ones who contributed the most were the haters.  It was overwhelming.  They would attack anyone and everyone who even remotely made a statement in favor of polygamy or the Brown family.  And if anyone attacked their position, they would cry foul, making accusations of intolerance.

To give you an example, I previously posted on THIS blog about my journey to see Winston Blackmore.  Immediately, I am attacked and asked if I saw any of Winston Blackmore's child brides.  I replied that I did not.  I was only introduced to one of his wives, and she was certainly not a child.  It was pointed out that I called Blackmore a "good man".  Yes, I said that.  He was a good man in my perception based on my visit there.  So how can I call him a good man, I was asked, given that he has taken child brides?  I told them that I neither saw nor heard ANYTHING about child brides while I was there.  I do not advocate underage marriage.  I have always spoken out against that sort of thing, and there is a public record going back more than a decade of me speaking against these things on the Yahoo! discussion groups, on my blogs, and many other places.  I do not condone the taking of child brides!  This was not enough for antis.  They asked how I could say he was a good man, didn't I know that he had taken child brides?  It's in the media!  No, I had never heard of Winston Blackmore taking child brides, and, if he did, I do not approve.  I actually do not follow Blackmore's life in the media.  I have better things to do with my life. That's not good enough!  Would I go on public record and condemn Winston Blackmore for taking child brides?  And my answer is - no, I will not.  Just because something is reported in the media does not make it true.  We live in a nation where men are innocent until proven guilty, and I am sure that Canada has the same rule.  I will not condemn a man who has not had the chance to defend himself, and until it is proven, it is just conjecture.  It is just gossip.  And I will not resort to the tactics of the anti-polygamists in condemning a person simply based on hearsay, on rumor.

Argh!

Next, someone got a hold of the History Channel program we did, and blasted me for our living conditions!  I have always been very honest on this blog about our living conditions off-grid.  In fact, I wrote a six-part essay on it.  It is no secret.  This anti said that the way I make my family live is abuse and threatened to call CPS on me.  That is laughable.  That episode was filmed seven freaking years ago!  Anyone who knows me knows that I moved my family out of there years ago, improving our livin conditions.  It was only temporary.  Like I live in a static bubble in space-time, never moving, never changing, my children never growing up.  Yet, in her mind, I am still living there is this house, eternally off-grid, ready for her to call social services on us.  What a joke!

It started getting old really fast.  I spent the whole week online, responding to posts, defending everything to do with plural marriage, dealing with a constant barrage of hate.  It got to the point where I was tired of dignifying their bullshit with serious responses.  Check out this argument I had with a fake profile named "Marilyn":

How dare you accuse me of being vitriolic and having prior history of being adversarial. Kendra is nothing but a bully and cannot let anyone have a different opinion to her. She is an attention seeker that is all over every celebrity she can contact on Twitter. She has other aliases where she disrespects the Browns, it's common knowledge. Maybe I should rephrase that, she used to, maybe not anymore as many have called her out on it. Did you know she accused a member of one group of hiding in a UPS van to get into the Browns houses. I believe there is a lawsuit now against her for that and rightly so. Kendra misreads people's posts and jumps on them for no reason. Do you think that she should be the only one to give an opinion. Are you star struck because she knows the Browns? You are so quick to defend her. She is on many forums spouting her opinions and jumping on anyone that disagrees with her. She has said many, many rude things to me, including accusing me of having a fake account. You say you won't put up with bitchiness and snideness, I guess that doesn't apply to Kendra though. She has made so many enemies in forums for those exact "qualities". Now you are also being singled out as a bully. As for me "taking one for team" exactly what does that mean?I'm not on any team. It's all about the power for you and Kendra, to be an admin of a group is some sort of status symbol is it? Never assume that because I am old that I will sit back and take crap like this from anyone. Abuse is bad, but elder abuse is worse.

Moroni:  :) Relax. It's just Facebook.

Marilyn:  Yes it is but I resent being called names, and everything I said above is true. If I'm to relax, then you and Kendra need to do the same. Stop acting so high and mighty. That comment about me taking one for the team etc etc makes you sound do arrogant. I would guess that it's your association with Kendra that is making you that way. She is one disliked woman on facebook and for Robyn to let her be a spokesperson for them is Sister Wives suicide. They are probably more disliked because of her and her constant defending of them. So if as you say, it's just facebook and I should relax, why the Nasty comments about me, relax, scroll past when you see my name. Kendra can do the same

Moroni:  :) Thanks for writing!

Marilyn:  Sarcasm !!!!

Moroni:  Ra ragga !!!!

Marilyn:  No idea what that means but it look immature, you really want to go to Kendra's level

Moroni:  Chim chimney chimney chinny chin chin

Marilyn:  OMG

you really need to explain your words to us senior citizens

Remember, some day, if you are lucky, you will be one, hope people speak better English to you then

Do you speak "down " to your children also, seniors and children, all beneath you I assume

Moroni:  (Here I inserted the photo of Mr. Bean up above)

Marilyn:  Your latest photo? Are you threatening me?

You look a lot like Mr Bean lol How unfortunate is that

Moroni:  That's more like it! ;)

Marilyn:  I sincerely hope your kids don't look like you, that would be more than unfortunate

Moroni: 

Marilyn:  Omg noooooooooo, please do not creat any more

Create

Moroni:  LOL God bless!

And THAT is how you deal with antis!

At this point, I deleted her and blocked her off of the discussion group.  In fact, I started cleaning house.  I deleted anyone that was perceived by me to be an anti.  The problem was - I deleted the other admin, who was an anti.  I was contacted by Kendra and asked to add her back.  Apparently, this admin was a journalist and had unflattering info on the Browns that she was threatening to use.  So I ate humble pie.  For Kendra.  For the Browns.  I added this admin back and publicly apologized to her.  She took the chance to publicly rip me a new one.  I can't tell you how hard it was to bite my tongue and take it.  This admin then added back all her friends, and they swooped down on me like a murder of crows.  They publicly posted the above exchange and said that I was threatening this poor "Marilyn".  They made fun of me, my wives, my children, and anyone who had the nerve to stand up to them on my behalf.

So, one week after being made admin, I packed it up and resigned from the "Sister Wives" forum.  I lasted only one week.  I was relieved.  I can't believe the degree of stress it gave me.  I felt dirty after trying to engage those women.  Their hatred has no bounds.  They expend more of their energy on hatred than I could ever have.  There was a distinct presence of evil with them.

I was later contacted by people who had witnessed how I was treated.  They told me that this admin has a secret group where they marshal together and plot as a group on who they will attack and how they will do it.  She sent me this screen shot of the admin bragging about her actions.

It turned out that this admin was a tabloid journalist.  She was using the group to get dirt that she could publish in articles against the Browns.  And she did.  Several articles hit the web as a result of these events, several that attempted to fling mud at the Browns.  The funny thing is - she constantly bragged about being a "journalist".  But in the end, she just took the slightest hints of conjecture and rumor and stretched them and stretched them into a story of little substance.  So much for being a "journalist".  In fact, other anti-polygamists - like Sound Choices Coalition - actually did not approve of her methods, pointing out that they were low and damaging, stating that their "cause" would be better served using other and better methods.

To me, it is all part of a plot, a conspiracy.  I think this is part of a concerted effort to smear the name of the Browns.  After all the Browns did in court to get polygamy decriminalized, the best way to distract from what they have done is to mire them down with pettiness and scandal.  I, for one, will not pay it any heed.  I refuse to engage in rumor-mongering and speak ill about the Brown family, or any other plural family when the accusations are baseless.

It makes me kind of glad.  When we first did our TLC special with Dawn Porter, they so much as told me that they were scouting us out for the potential of a program of our own.  Then we were told that we were too "basic" to have a show of our own.  Can you imagine if we had said yes, if we wound up being on display for the whole nation?  I can't imagine having cameras in my face during my divorce.  Who knows what sort of "dirt" they would have fabricated on me or any of my wives?  No, for now, I am content to remain boring.  Basic.  Monogamous.  For now.

So once again, I say with emphasis:  Ra ragga!

Plural Marriage Has a Champion: The Collier Family Challenges Marriage Equality

The Colliers

Last week, the Supreme Court made a momentous decision by ruling in favor of gay marriage, and Facebook exploded in an array of rainbow colors.  Everyone was celebrating marriage equality.

But of course, there were many of us who have personal experience that - whereas this is a positive step for the LGBT community - there are many of us who still do not have the right to marry as we wish, according to the law.  Everyone knew that the fate of polygamy was inextricably tied with that of gay marriage.  In fact, the same day of the SCOTUS ruling, I began to see memes and posts about - what about polygamy?  Does this right extend to polygamists?

Every movement needs its champion.  There has been a history of plural marriage being tried legally and being struck down.  The Reed Smoot hearings in the 1800s are an example.  Roy Potter was a Utah police officer who took his case to the Supreme Court in the 1980s and was struck down.  Potter was essentially told that his right to believe whatever he wanted religiously was constitutionally protected, but not his right to live his religion.

It was weird.  I was thinking about the TV show "Big Love", and how it has changed public perception of plural marriage.  If it wasn't for the success of that show, there would never have been a TV show called "Sister Wives", and, if wasn't for that TV show, Kody Brown would not have had the voice to take his case to court.  In December 2013, I woke up in the middle of the night to an email from a friend of mine, a anthropologist who has studied polygamy extensively.  He was the one who alerted me to the fact that a federal judge in Utah had ruled in favor of the Browns.  He ruled that the anti-polygamy laws were unconstitutional.  This was such a moment of triumph.  I stayed up the rest of the night, posting about it.  Polygamists were celebrating, and the haters were fuming.  But this meant for me that never again would I fear being placed in jail for belief and practice of plural marriage.  Can you imagine what a relief it was?

So back to the concept of a champion - I have wrote about Nathan Collier and his two wives, Vicki and Christine.  They have been featured on the last season of "Sister Wives".  I also had the privilege of presiding at their recommitment ceremony a few years ago in Montana.  What I have not mentioned is how much I admire this guy.  He has held his family together successfully for many years and is a stellar example of plural marriage.  Which is saying something, because this is not something that he was raised around.  He had to figure it out as he went.  I also know him to be a deep thinker and one of the most open-minded guys I know.

So I was not surprised that, only mere days after the SCOTUS ruling, Nathan decided to challenge the Marriage Equality Act by taking his wives to a courthouse in Montana to apply for both of his wives.  This is what he posted on Facebook that morning:

"From civil rights to suffrage, prohibition to slavery, no social injustice has ever righted itself without those willing to sacrifice for the greater good. The Brown family, the Dargers, the Williams family and many others sacrificed their privacy to create awareness of functional plural marriage and they have taken this noble effort farther than I ever thought I would see it in my lifetime. I am truly indebted to them all.
It is now my turn to throw myself on the metaphorical sword in an effort to continue to build upon the work that so many others have begun.
With the blessings and support of my wife Vicki, my wife Christine and I are heading into the Yellowstone County Courthouse today to apply for a Montana marriage license using the Marriage Equality Act as a basis for our claim.
I don't know what to expect or how this will be handled. I expect the application to be denied after which I will file a civil rights lawsuit in federal court. We could possibly be arrested and caged for daring to attempt to legitimize our marriage legally.
My stomach is in knots but I remind myself that this is necessary for change. Please keep us in your hearts."


He took a news crew with him - which Nathan believes is the only thing that kept him from being arrested.  If you watch the news report, it is hilarious to see the expressions of the employees at the courthouse as Nathan explains what he is doing.  Initially, his request for a marriage license was denied, but then he was told that a supervisor would need to review the case, and they would get back to him.

This was yesterday, and, as of today, Nathan has still not heard back from the courthouse.  Along with the Collier family, we are all holding our breath.  It had to start somewhere.  I didn't expect it so soon, but Nathan Collier, and his wives, have stepped up to the plate.  It is hard for me to imagine a world where plural marriage is, not only decriminalized, but legal.  I never thought I would see the day, and that is thanks to the Colliers for their bravery and tenacity.  A big thank you from me and my family to yours.

History Channel Re-run

So the segment that we did for History Channel in 2008 - "Strange Rituals: Forbidden Sex" - aired again a couple of nights ago.  You can watch the segment here.

The Land of Bountiful, Part 3

Bountiful BC

So continuing on my visit to Winston Blackmore in Bountiful, British Columbia - you can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.

In the morning, we got up and got ready.  We did up the living room for prayers, and then our friends.  We had prayers.

Our friend explained that the people here don't know that much about the endowment.  There were endowments done in the FLDS, but it was reserved for only the very elite, so they have a bit of a disdain for them.  He also said to not use the word “patriarchal”, because it is viewed in the same light.

While we were offering the last prayer, there was a knock at the door.  No one seemed to hear, but I could hear voices.  Whoever it was eventually just left.  There was discussion about whether or not they could see us through the window.  I don’t think it matters. 

After prayers, I could see that Winston had tried to call me.  My friends called, and we were told to come to breakfast to Winston’s house.  We got ready and packed up.

Right before we were ready to leave, my father-in-law lost the car keys.  I swear, first the credit card, and now the keys.  He finally found them, and we went to Winston’s for breakfast.  He was eating breakfast with Frank and Daryl Naylor, two older men from Bluffdale.  Their wives sat at the far end of the table, obviously separated from the men.  They asked how I was a Jessop.  They were Barlows, and they knew my Uncle Jim. 

Winston did mention that we must be deep sleepers, because he had knocked on our door and we didn’t answer.  Nothing else was said about it.

Breakfast was delicious.  After visiting, we got ready and went down to the meetinghouse.  It was quite a large meeting.  We took our seats, and Winston sat up on the stand with his brothers and the Naylors, along with Nate. 

It has been funny to observe Winston.  I would characterize him as a benevolent dictator.  In other words, it is obvious that he has a sincere love for all of those around him.  His children come up, and he is affectionate with all of them.  He is jovial and pleasant.  But he is definitely in charge.  He has his finger on the pulse of everything that happens in his community.  My friend said that many of Winston's children have left.  But he has done his best to keep everything together.  He controlled every aspect of the meeting, even leading the music.

He called on Frank Naylor who read an entire discourse by John Taylor.  Word for word.  Pausing after every few words for emphasis.  I was bored to tears.  They had a few other speakers – only people up on the stand.  Winston didn’t call on any of us to speak.  Oh well.

He called on all of his single daughters to sing.  It was beautiful.  I counted fifty of them.  Then a smaller group of daughters sang a version of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, changing the lyrics so that the sexual metaphors were absent.  For instance:

I heard there was a sacred chord

That David played to please the Lord

But you don’t care about Jesus, don’t you?

After the meeting, everyone lines up to shake the hands of the people on the stage.  A couple of them were outright hostile.  One man I introduced myself to refused to give me his name.  I shook Winston’s hand and asked for his email address, but he didn’t know it right off hand.  He invited us to stay for lunch, but my father-in-law declined, saying that we had to push on.  I wish that we had stayed.

There was an old woman in her 80s sitting with the my friends.  She introduced herself to me as the daughter of Morris Kunz and Rhea Allred.  She is the sister to Aunt Nan and Aunt Millie.  She seemed very sweet.

We went outside and said bye to Nate and his sons, and to our friends.

They look so Jessop!  Me with Nate & his sons

On our way back, we got lost and started heading towards Creston.  We got directions and found the border.  It was way easier crossing into the States than it was going into Canada,  We stopped for dinner in Missoula, and tried to stay ahead of a snow storm, staying the night in Dillon, Montana.

Winston Blackmore is a good man.  I don;t care about the negative press.  He has held together his people in the recovery of the despotic travesty that is Warren Jeffs.

This trip - and other trips - taught me something significant to me.  We are all Mormon.  I am tired of factionalism and the things that divide us.  This has become somewhat of a theme with me lately.  I am tired of focusing on the things that set us apart.  I want to focus on the things that we have in common and work with every Latter-day Saint on whatever level I can, even if it is just to sit and break bread together.

The Land of Bountiful, Part 2

Bonner's Ferry, Idaho

Continuing on my story of traveling to Bountiful, British Columbia to meet the leader of the Mormon fundamentalist community there, the charismatic Winston Blackmore:

At midnight, the alarm clock in the room where we were staying went off.  I got up and shut it off.  I used my phone as a flashlight to shut it down.  I noticed that I had received an email from a friend from Casa Grande.  One of my good friends from my younger years had suddenly died. 

This was a shock.  I lay in bed for a while, thinking about her, unable to believe that she was gone.  I finally went to sleep, and then I woke up early.

I took a shower, and, when I got out, there was a text from Nate, inviting us over for breakfast.  We got ready and then packed up the car.  It was a chilly, frosty morning.

We drove to Nathan’s house.  He has such a beautiful view from his place that I took a couple of pictures.  (Seen above.)

We went in for breakfast.  I visited with the wives for a while.  I really like them.  

After breakfast, I hopped into the truck with Nate and his son, Vaughn, and my father-in-law followed us.  We drove to the Canadian border, which was just a few miles away.  We got to the checkpoint, and all of the border guards know who the people in Bountiful are.  He asked Nate what his business was in Canada, and Nate answered, “We’re going to see Winston.”

When they learned that I was visiting from Arizona, they started grilling us with questions.  They asked when we were leaving, and I said that I wasn’t sure.  Either Sunday or Monday.  Nate later told me that this was why they detained us for so long, that I needed to be up front with them and give direct answers.  They directed us to pull over, and we waited for about fifteen minutes until they let us go on in into Canada.

My first time in Canada!

We drove to Bountiful, which is just a few miles from the border.  It is beautiful, nestled in a narrow valley up against the tall mountains.  Nate drove us on a brief tour of Bountiful.  He showed us the school, which is broken down into several smaller buildings to avoid permit problems.  He showed us their chapel, where Vaughn is the sound technician.  The community is shared with the Warrenites, or people belonging to the FLDS.  It is not like Centennial Park, or even like out at the my community, where there is a physical separation between the factions.  They all live in the same neighborhood.  You can tell the home of the Warrenites, because they have high fences and trashy yards.  We would drive past Warrenites, and Nate would mutter about whether or not they would say hi.  He said that he has family in Colorado City, like his mother.  They can’t even visit with him, because it will get them in trouble with the priesthood leadership.

I have to admit – there was a lot of tension and an oppressive feeling in the community.

We stopped briefly to see my friend.  He came out of his house, barefoot, to see us.  We saw the rest of the family.  We went in, and he took my father-in-law aside for a little but to speak in private.  Winston contacted Nate and told him to bring us down for lunch.  My friend was invited, too, but he didn’t show up.

We went to Winston’s house, which was enormous, like an apartment complex.  He had a separate building with an enormous kitchen and dining room.  He has wives that work full time in there.  It is like an industrial kitchen, and they make 17 loaves of bread a day.

We sat with Winston, and we ate turkey sandwiches with avocado on homemade bread, raw milk, and peaches.  It was good. 

Earlier, Nate had invited me to ride with him and Winston to Cranbrook, a nearby community, on business.  It would give me a chance to see a bit more of British Columbia.  I was looking forward to it.  During lunch, Winston invited us out to ride with him to Cranbrook, so that we could talk more.

                

My father-in-law declined, saying that we were here for the benefit of our friends.  I looked at him in disbelief.  We have a chance to have a discussion with this dynamic character, and he declines?  When he saw my look, he decided to accept.  But he said that he would go, and my brother-in-law and I would stay and visit the our friends.  This upset me, too.  So the “adults” go and talk, and the “kids” stay at home.  I know this is the way my father-in-law sees things.  But I really felt like I should have been in on any discussions with Winston.  I was relegated to the status of unimportant, and Winston didn’t take me seriously after that.  I felt marginalized.  This made me a bit angry. 

As we got up from the table, Nate told me, “I guess you got bumped.”

They left, and my brother-in-law and I hopped in with Vaughn.  He drove us around the community, including taking us to see the rodeo grounds.  I got more information from Vaughn than I did anyone else.

I asked him if they live United Order.  They don’t.  All of the land is owned UEP Trust.  If the state of Utah hadn’t appointed a fiduciary to oversee the trust, they would have been in trouble.  Warren Jeffs could have told them to leave, and then they would have been without homes.  They do several work projects together, help each other build homes.  But one of the downsides is that they can only do work projects until they run out of money.  Then they have to wait to get money, and it seems that once funds come in that they move onto other projects, leaving previous endeavors unfinished.  The homes of Winston’s followers are clean, whereas the FLDS homes are junky and littered with trash.  They don’t appreciate their stewardship.

I asked him if they do endowments.  He said that they don’t.  They really don’t know much about that and have enough on their plate trying to live their lives as simply as they can.  Maybe someday they will receive those things.

Something unusual is going on in the community.  There are other visitors in the community this weekend from Salt Lake.  They are members of the Ivan Nielsen/ Frank Naylor group, a breakoff from Centennial Park.  One of Winston’s daughters was marrying someone from that group.  It was the first intergroup marriage.  The only stipulation was that Winston was the one to perform the marriage.

I told Vaughn, “One of the issues facing our young people is that there is no one for them to marry.  They are all related, so in order to get married they are going to have to go outside to find someone.”

“Exactly,” answered Vaughn.  “Winston may have many children, but there is no one here for them to marry.  The way I see things, if you believe in Christ, and we believe in Christ, there is no reason that our communities can’t come together.”

This really struck me.  I understood why we were there.  Winston is a very confident man who does not perceive himself as needing anything.  But there is an opportunity before him, if he will accept it.  Given his prejudices, he will probably not accept it, but it is a chance before him nonetheless.  What do we have to offer?  The ordinances.  The fullness of the priesthood.  What does Winston have?  Sons and daughters for our children.  I felt the Spirit strongly that this was the case.  I was very glad at this point that I stayed and had this conversation with Vaughn.  I was amazed to see that the Lord had brought us here. 

Winston Blackmore

I saw signs on some of the houses about water contamination, so I requested that we go into town to get some bottled water.  Vaughn drove us to Creston, and we went to a grocery store and bought a flat of water.  My brother-in-law had a silly grin on his face the whole time and made it a point to inform the cashier that this was our first time in Canada.

We went back to my friend’s house and visited with his family.  They served us some homemade kambucha. It was my first time trying it, and it was pretty nasty.

We went out to the living room, and then my father-in-law and Nate showed up.  My father-in-law later told me that it was a good visit.  He said that Winston had asked to know a bit about his perception of Joseph Musser.  He told my father-in-law that he appreciated hearing his side of things.  Winston told him that he refused to learn anything from someone who was less intelligent than him.  This made an impression on my father-in-law, because he kept mentioning this. 

Our friends served us a dinner of barley cooked like Boston baked beans with bread.  It was simple, but good.  We said goodbye to Nate and Vaughn, and our friends invited us to stay for their weekly meeting.  The kids all did parts, and it was impressive how they not only recited, but had to explain how they understood everything.

Our friend guided us over to a trailer owned by a man who was out of town.  It was simple on the outside, but very nice on the inside.  There were many huge ants crawling everywhere, though.  I was assigned a bed.  We visited for a while, and then I went to bed after plugging in all of my electronic devices.  I was exhausted.

This story will continue in one more installment.

The Land of Bountiful, Part 1

Bountiful, BC

In the news recently, Winston Blackmore, leader of the Mormon fundamentalist community in Bountiful, British Columbia, Canada was taken to court yet again.  The LDS Church had lapsed in their right to have the name "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" in Canada.  So Winston snatched it up.  He purchased the legal rights to the name, and, of course, the LDS Church took him to court.  They won the right to the name and, furthermore, blocked him from using the name, along with the generic term "Mormon", which is ridiculous.  There are a multitude of Restoration churches and organizations that use that name and who use the Book of Mormon.  How is it that the Utah-based church is the only entity that has a right to that name?

Anyway, I decided to write about my visit to Bountiful in March of last year.

I have a friend who lives in Winston Blackmore's community, and he invited us out.  Our visit would be part of a larger journey.  We were planning on visiting a few families in Idado, detouring up to British Canada, and then finish out by seeing my friend, Nathan Collier, in Montana, whose family was featured last week on "Sister Wives".  The visit in Montana fell through, but we were able to go to Canada - my first visit ever in that fair country.

In the afternoon, my father-in-law, my brother-in-law, and I left Boise and headed towards Oregon.  Our first mishap occurred when we hit the first gas station.  My father-in-law could not find his credit card.  We backtracked and looked everywhere.  After about an hour of looking, he found it in the shoe he was wearing.  The night before, for safe keeping, he had slid it in his shoe for safe-keeping and then forgot it was there.

We crossed into Oregon - also my first time in that state and cut across to Kennisaw.  It was dusk as we pulled into that city, and the lights extended into the horizon.  I texted my friend in Canada.  He said that he had spoken to Winston.  He had business in Spokane the next morning and would meet us there.  It was dark when we pulled into Spokane.  We stopped by Denny's for a late night dinner, and then checked into a hotel.

For those who know that I have health problems, I woke up with swollen, throbbing legs - all caused by riding into a cramped Prius.  For a moment, I wondered if coming on this trip was a good idea.

At 6:00 in the morning, I got a call from Winston.  His business was detouring him to Missoula, Montana.  He was sending someone else from the community, and then he would meet us later up in Bonner's Ferry, Idaho, right on the Canadian border.

After breakfast, we met Winston's representative in the hotel parking lot - a kind, soft-spoken bespectacled man named Shem.  His accent spoke of southern Utah, and, sure enough, he was originally from Colorado City.  He had business in Spokane, so we piled into his very nice diesel pickup and rode around while he stopped at different shops.  Shem, along with many of the men in the community, worked for a commercial construction business based out of Bonner's Ferry.

Once his business was done, we headed up towards Bonner's Ferry.  My father-in-law followed us in the Prius, and I sat in cab with Shem.  As we got onto the highway, I looked at him and said, "Perhaps you are wondering what we are doing here, what our intentions are.  Honestly, I don't know.  We were invited to come and meet Winston, and well, here we are."

I made this statement, because I could sense the question, the wariness of having a stranger come out.  He didn't say much about my comment.  We spent some time playing the game that most polygs do when they meet each other - who knows who.  As a child, going to visit relatives in Colorado City with my dad, I met many of the old-timers is that community.

Then Shem gave me some background of their community.  For the two hour drive, we have a good discussion.  One of the things that I learned – things were NOT as we were told in Colorado City.  Many of the things that he told me reminded me of things that other ex-FLDS had told me.  Things were really good under “Uncle” LeRoy Johnson.  He was a kind man and well-loved.  There were not so many arranged marriages back then.  The women had a choice where they wanted to go, and, like Centennial Park, they discouraged men from trying to seek wives.

I asked Shem if they now practice placement in marriages, and he skirted the issue, not really answering me.

When Rulon Jeffs came into power, he became sick and had a stroke.  Warren Jeffs came into power, because he isolated his father and began speaking for him.  When Rulon died, Warren essentially seized power and began taking wives away from men and cutting off men.  At this point, many of the people in Colorado City decided to cut themselves off from Warren, including Winston. 

Shem mentioned that they remembered something that they had been taught, that Joseph Musser had had a stroke and that he wasn't held accountable for the things that he did (which, of course, I don’t agree with, because the thing that he did was to set apart Rulon Allred.)

He told me that half of the community lives in Bonner’s Ferry, those who are American citizens, and that half of them live in Bountiful.  Many have wives, children, and/ or jobs on both sides of the border and that many people from the FLDS – or “Warrenites” as they call them – still live in the community. 

Shem is a nice guy, but I could tell that he was feeling us out.  He reiterated that they were a simple people and believed in the teachings of Jesus Christ and Joseph Smith.  There was a death in the family down in Colorado City, so Shem was actually going to leave with his family as soon as he dropped us off.  He was going to take us to their offices to meet up with Nate, an employee that works as a foreman for their company.  He made several phone calls while he drove, making arrangements to leave with his family.

We pulled into their shop in Bonner’s Ferry.  It was a large warehouse.  We were introduced to Nate.  Right away, you could tell that he was kin.  His mother is a Jessop, and you can tell.  He was a nice man.  They sat us down in the lobby to wait.  We sat there while Shem arranged to leave, and Nate wrapped up his work.  

They mentioned to us that we would be staying in the apartment that they have on the top story of the office.  I became concerned.  My friend from Canada was texting me, asking me where we were.  I told him that I felt like we were being detained at the office until they decided whether we were good or not, that we were being screened.  My friend from Canada answered, “You probably are.”

I told Nate that we kind of needed to know what the plans were, because our friend was waiting for us.  He said that we were waiting for Winston to get back from Missoula, and then we would meet up with him and decide what we were doing.  He asked if we were hungry, so he invited us out to lunch.

I hopped in with Nate, and we went into Bonner’s Ferry to a local deli.  We met Nathan’s wife who was running the sandwich shop.  She served us sandwich wraps and smoothies.  It was good.  I was so hungry.  She seemed really nice.  She is a Barlow.

While we sat and visited with Nate, we got the same story that we got from Shem, and so I could kind of see their rhetoric.  Their split from Warren.  The justification about Joseph Musser being senile after his stroke and not being accountable, hence Rulon Jeffs not being accountable for the things that Warren did in his name.  The gospel is a simple thing; we should get back to the basics and just teach what Jesus Christ and Joseph Smith taught.  My father-in-law asked him how Warren could get away with bypassing the council and taking power the way he did.  He was intelligent and manipulative.  He was known to be a pervert from the early days.

From there, we went to Nate’s house.  He apologized profusely about his humble house.  It was a beautiful, two-story log cabin.  In the entrance, there was a huge room with an enormous, hand-carved wooden table in that was curved.  We went into the kitchen, and I met Nate’s other wife, also a Barlow.  I really liked her.  They had a large kitchen equipped to feed a large family.  We also met Nate’s sons.  Eventually more people showed up and visited with us.  There were stories and laughter and discussions.  They served us dinner.  Later in the evening, my friends from Canada showed up.  I almost didn’t recognize them; it had been a while since I had seen them.

Winston Blackmore

Then, after dark, Winston showed up with a wife and a daughter.  Winston is a short, stocky man with longish white hair and glasses.  He was wearing a white shirt and a leather vest, and didn’t look at all like someone who was once FLDS.  He had a charisma about him, and the whole room got quiet when he walked in, in deference to him.  He sat down and talked to us while he ate dinner.

He told us that his father had been set apart as bishop and presiding elder in Canada by Charles Zitting.  He had been set apart in that position by his father.  He recounted the story about they had split off from Warren Jeffs.  He used a lot of the same rhetoric that Shem and Nate had used, about Joseph Musser’s senility.  He talked about, because they had gone through what they had gone through with Warren that they no longer believed in the One Man Doctrine.  As a result, they had adopted a streamlined version of the gospel.  They focused on the teachings of Joseph Smith.  They focused on what Jesus taught.  As far as what other men taught, like Brigham Young, well, they honor what Brigham did and what he taught, but they acknowledge that he was just a man, prone to mistakes. 

“I don’t give a rat’s ass what Lorin Woolley taught,” he said.  “Don’t get me wrong.  I still believe in the 8-Hour Meeting.  I just don’t care about anything he said.  I want to know what the Savior said.”

Although I think they are throwing the proverbial baby out with the bath water, I could respect what he said, and I could understand the circumstances that brought them to this.  It was refreshing to hear these sentiments coming from someone from the FLDS.  I told Winston as much when I shook his hand at the end of the meeting.  He brushed aside my comments, though.  I don’t believe he thought I was sincere.  I don’t know what kind of people he is used to dealing with.

We wrapped up the visit, and Nate gave us the key to the office.  We drove back to the office and went up into the apartment.  It was really nice, like a timeshare.  There were two bedrooms, both of them very nice.  My brother-in-law and I took one, and my father-in-law took the other.  The pantry was well-stocked.  I took a chance to use the washer and dryer and did my laundry.  Then I went to bed, my legs quite swollen.  What a day.

I will finish the rest of this story tomorrow...

The Song Remains the Same: On "Sister Wives" With My Friends, the Colliers

Yours truly with the Colliers on "Sister Wives"

So, my TV days are not quite over.

I have some really good friends in Montana - the Colliers.  They are an established polygamous family that has been together for many, many years.

Back in 2011, they wanted to renew their marriage vows, so they flew me out to Montana to officiate in their wedding ceremony.  It was a beautiful experience.

Last Sunday, on "Sister Wives", it was previewed that - next Sunday, January 18th - the Colliers would be featured on the program.  Apparently, Kody Brown and his posse traveled to Montana for a week to visit the Colliers.

The interesting thing is - they showed photos from the wedding, and, on one of the photos, I was shown quite visibly.  To the point that I immediately got texts and Facebook messages from family members and friends who were watching and saw me.  I also got an email from a high school acquaintance whom I had not seen in 25 years who - for some reason - recognized me.

So, I will be watching the episode on January 18th to see the Colliers, but also to see if yours truly pops up on national TV again!  (Yes, I know.  I am a media whore.)

Also, notice the sweet Ramones shirt I am rocking.  After the reception, I immediately flew home.  I had already changed for the flight home.