Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Recently, I was contacted about putting my family on television – the interest being that I am a polygamist. I decided that I would start a blog about the whole experience. Documenting my descent into the world of pop culture, so to speak.
Today, I shared with my wife Temple about a drug-soaked night I spent with my friend Travis back at the tender age of nineteen. We both spoke of a feeling that our voices would be heard later in life. Little did Travis know that I already knew at that time that polygamy would be a part of my life, and somehow I knew even then that I would have my proverbial piece speaking out about polygamy.
I am not pretentious enough to suppose that this is that “moment”, but it is interesting how things have unfolded.
Last July, while I was working on a hotel remodel outside of Pittsburgh, I got a call from my friend Brent. His MySpace page had drawn a television producer who was looking for a practicing polygamist. He referred her to me. So one hot, steamy evening in Pennsylvania, I got a phone call from a casting producer named Kirsten Fenswick. She actually worked for Fox Network (which made me a bit nervous), but had ties to a production company called Incubator, headed by a British guy named Simon.
Now, when I think of a British guy named “Simon” in the television industry, I immediately think of “American Idol”. But apparently this Simon – née Andrae – is actually a reputable creator of documentaries. His special on embryonic development was one of the highest rated programs on National Geographic. So he is legit.
Kirsten explained to me that Simon, who has done some research and writing about marriage & relationships, was interested in doing a reality program about a polygamous family. Kirsten’s experience was with programs such as “Survivor” and “The Bachelor”.
This also alarmed me a bit. I imagined a polygamous version the “Bachelor”. “Let’s watch and see now how Moroni’s wives react as we introduce five hot babes who will compete to become Moroni’s next wife.” Kirsten immediately put me at ease that this would not be the case. In fact, our conversation went very well. She asked me some questions about me, my family and my lifestyle. I think that she was surprised that a polygamous male would fall outside the stereotype – I can, when needed, be verbose and articulate. In other words, I don’t come across as a raving fundamentalist-extremist.
In addition, I did not get a bad idea at the idea that Kirsten was putting across.
The next day, I shared with my brother Tony my conversation with Kirsten. His immediate response was, “If you do this, you will lose all credibility, in my opinion.”
In the polygamous world, there is a culture of secrecy that has evolved. A lot of this has to do with the fact that the government – time and time again – has locked away men and women in prison simply for living polygamy. There is a notion that speaking to the press is bad and will bring bad attention to you, viz. law enforcement. It is generally understood in our culture that people like Tom Green went to prison for going to the media; whatever you think of the man, he was made an example because he went in front of the cameras.
And yet, I did not feel bad about speaking to Kirsten. We continued our dialogue. I spoke to people in our community, and so did Kirsten. We set up a tentative date at the end of September when she and Simon would travel out to Arizona to talk to us. But at the last minute, I got a call from her. She told me that the project was – not dead – but definitely asleep. Simon had other projects going on.
Last month (February, 2008), my brother Carlos’s divorce case drew some negative press. My sister-in-law Sarine got a new lawyer. The old lawyer passed a warning on to my brother’s lawyer – something is coming, watch out. That week, I was leaving the office with my brother. A man knocked on the window of the car. We both thought that it was a debt collector, but then I noticed the camera. It was Mike Watkiss, a reporter from Arizona News Channel 3 who is famed for doing a continuing exposé on polygamy called “The Polygamy Diaries”. He confronted my brother about some of the accusations that my sister-in-law had made regarding my brother. It did not go well. It was not fun to be blind-sided with questions, and have to answer them off the cuff.
Later that afternoon, I was driving home with my wives. I got a call from brother Tony that the news crew was snooping around the edges of our property. As I was speaking to him, I saw the news van pulled over on our dirt road. Without even knowing what I was doing, I got out of the car and went to talk to them. They wanted me to make comments about the divorce case, but I refused. I made some general comments about polygamy, and they turned the cameras on. As they left, the reporter told me that he didn’t give a shit about polygamy. He was just writing a story.
A week later, they aired the segment. They made my brother look horrible. Everyone who knows my bitch of a sister-in-law could see that she was lying through her teeth, turning on the water works as if tears will give falsehoods the fecundity of credibility. The only thing that turned out okay was my appearance. I had written a letter to Mike Watkiss to clarify some of the points I made, and they put it on their website. Watkiss even made some positive statements about the letter on air.
But immediately after, I learned that Mike Watkiss was still asking questions about me. Not only Watkiss, but so were some of the people who run anti-polygamy hate groups - like Flora Jessop. They were asking about my former employment with the Arizona government as a social worker. They were also asking about my participation in a pro-polygamy website called “Christian Polygyny”. This was a website that was created by a friend of mine years ago in hopes that it would become a forum for people who believe in polygamy. It turned out to be a dud. Everyone stopped posting on it, and it was overrun by spammers.
Well, it turns out that the anti-polygamy hate groups tried to make some link between me (as a member of this website) and polygamy and pornography. They pointed out that there were twelve links to pornography on this website, including two to child porn. This was such a pathetic attempt to associate porn spam with polygamy. Following this infantile logic, then there is also a connection between polygamy and online tobacco and online pharmaceuticals – both of which had also spammed the website.
The thing that did worry me, however, was the possible threat that they might decide to investigate me and my family. The thought that the Arizona government would take away my kids, and that I would never see them again, was terrifying to me. It is not a far-fetched thought. In 1953, Arizona conducted a pogrom-style raid on Short Creek and took away all of the children from the parents and placed them in foster homes. You have to understand – there is a very real force in Arizona that wants to take away the children of polygamists and never return them to their parents. I looked on my children and had tears come to my eyes. They are my joy and my life. There would cease to be joy in my life if I lost even one of them.
I was afraid of further interference of the media in my life, so I tried to call Kirsten. I thought that surely she might know how to handle the media problem, but she did not answer her phone. Several days later, she called me to tell me that the project was back on. Simon was interested in doing a one-hour program about my family.
The day after my 38th birthday, I went with my brother to speak to his lawyer about some of my concerns. While there, I got a call from Simon, who was as smooth as silk on the phone. That night, he made a pitch. It was almost cliché. “Picture this.” An immersive journalist – a young woman named Dawn – would come and spend time with my family investigating the possibility for herself of becoming a plural wife.
“Wait a minute,” I asked. “You’re not approaching this from the angle that she would be interested in my family, are you?”
Simon laughed. “She’s not going to become your wife!”
He suggested that I look at the website for Incubator. He wanted me to look at the programs listed on his website that he had produced. He described the type of programs he produced as “edgy and racy”. This worried me. I pictured the whole thing turning into questions about sex – which is not the program we wanted to do.
Another thing bugged me. He told me how much Kirsten had liked me, and Kirsten had described me as “charismatic”. I spoke to a friend, and she pointed out how quiet and reserved my wives are. “How is that going to look with a charismatic husband and two quiet wives?”
The next day, I looked at the website. It didn’t look that bad. Then I got a call from the producer, Hank. Hank immediately calmed me down. He gave me a description of what they want to do and asked if he could fly out.
The next week, he wound up flying in to Phoenix and driving up to our place. I met him at the cattleguard and guided him in. He was a genuinely nice guy. The kids loved him, and the wives thought he was cute. He reminded me of a cross between Luke Wilson, and the main guy on “Lost”. He spent a few hours interviewing us. The girls were worried about the living conditions – the small trailer and the lack of amenities. But I actually think that being here kind of resonated something in him, like it reminded him of home, or something. He photographed the kids, and for that, they mauled him for the rest of his visit. He photographed us eating dinner, and then he was on the way.
The week or so after that has involved negotiating schedules, and such, on the phone with Hank. They want to do the shooting next week, if possible. Today, Hank talked about the possibility of talking to my mother, or anyone else on the property. But they are deadest against it. The only one who is amenable is Tony. Hank suggested having a sit-down dinner with Tony’s family. I suggested possibly having a BBQ with any member of our community who does not have qualms about being on camera. Hank seemed to like that idea, and asked me to talk to people in our community. I talked to Sean and Brent. They did not seem to have a problem with the idea.
We also looked up Dawn Porter on the Internet. She will be the immersive reporter. She is an attractive British reporter who has done some provocative segments about extreme dieting and people’s unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies. She seems like she will be funny and thought-provoking. But I also think she will be something else. I think some of her questions will be pointed and personal. The girls are a little bit worried about that. But I reassured them that we can make something fun out of this. They are also thinking that they should set up Dawn with Hank. As if we know anything about these people personally.
Anyway, I will update this as things go along.
Monday, March 31, 2008
