Ra Ragga: My Life With The Haters

Are you threatened by this?

I am no stranger to the anti-polygamist movement.  In fact, they are the whole reason I entered this shit parade.  Back in 2007, Flora Jessop, aka Tweaking Scarecrow, published my name in some court documents, spreading lies against me.  I blogged about it here.  I realized something about the anti-polygamists then and there.  They are willing to lie their asses off to obtain their agenda.  Truth doesn't matter to them.  Insinuation is presented as fact.  Gossip is stated as gospel.  Character assassination is a viable tactic.  They don't need to know you.  They don't need to understand your circumstance.  All they know is that you are a polygamist, and, for that, you are going down!

Admittedly, not all of them are like that.  I have come across some anti-polygamists that are respectful and courteous.  Check out this correspondence I had.  My rule of thumb is this - if they are willing to have legitimate talks with polygamists, sit down at the table and have earnest dialogue, then I will return that respect.

After all, polygamists are not going anywhere.  You cannot eradicate them, you cannot do away with them, or prevent them from living this lifestyle - even at the threat of imprisonment, even at the threat of murder.  We have endured those, and WE ARE NOT GOING AWAY anytime soon.  So you might as well deal with it and use reason and logic to come up with legitimate solutions to deal with the perceived problems with polygamists, including the polygamists in these solutions.  That is the only thing that makes sense.

But the rabid anti-polygamists refuse to enter this sort of discussion.  They want blood, and they do not listen to reason.  These are the sort that I disrespect.  They are the real fanatics, and I have no problem labeling them what they are - a hate group.  A genuine hate group, right alongside the Ku Klux Klan.  Except this group of cheerless, sexless, unfulfilled, nosy, bitter, flatulent hate mongers have the ears of law enforcement, legislators, social service agencies, and mostly the media.  Sad, sad people.  They will not be satisfied short of a pogrom - all children removed from polygamous homes, all plural wives shipped into forced "rehabilitation", and all polygamist men behind bars or dead.  They want nothing short of ethnic cleansing.

The whole reason that I started blogging, going on international television, on public radio, doing interviews, etc., was to defend myself.  I realized that most people assume that polygamists are too backward, too uneducated, not verbose enough to mount a well-thought defense.  Most people assume that polygamists will say or do nothing in response to vicious attacks in the media.  They thought that about me.  They were wrong.  I refuse to give the hate-whores the opportunity to speak lies about me, or any other polygamists, without me shooting off some furious blog post in retaliation.  I will always speak my mind, and, trust me, I have plenty to say.  Thanks to polygamists like Kody Brown, Brady Williams, and Nathan Collier, polygamy is getting a new face.

Fortunately, since I am no longer a polygamist, I pass under the radar of the antis.  Since I only have one wife, I am no longer relevant, but I have dealt with the antis time and time again over the past decade.  Usually, their modus operandi is the same - they infiltrate forums where polygamists discuss online, using fake profiles.  Many, many fake profiles - most of them probably the same person.  Their purpose is to troll, gather information, and discredit as many polygamists as they can.  They are vicious and unrelenting.  By now, I am pretty good at spotting the antis in a group, and I am not afraid to call them out on it.

Anyway, I am telling a story with this,  Earlier this summer, I was asked by Kendra to help moderate a discussion site.  Kendra is a close friend to the Brown family of "Sister Wives" fame, and, over the years, she has been an online defender of the family.  For these years, I have been a part of these sites, but I pay them little attention.  The drama gets too much for me, sometimes.  She asked me to help her moderate the group, because it was overrun by antis.  Previously, she had Nathan Collier as an admin, but he dropped out due to the chaos.

So I stepped in as an admin to a group that had well over 1,500 members - and the ones who contributed the most were the haters.  It was overwhelming.  They would attack anyone and everyone who even remotely made a statement in favor of polygamy or the Brown family.  And if anyone attacked their position, they would cry foul, making accusations of intolerance.

To give you an example, I previously posted on THIS blog about my journey to see Winston Blackmore.  Immediately, I am attacked and asked if I saw any of Winston Blackmore's child brides.  I replied that I did not.  I was only introduced to one of his wives, and she was certainly not a child.  It was pointed out that I called Blackmore a "good man".  Yes, I said that.  He was a good man in my perception based on my visit there.  So how can I call him a good man, I was asked, given that he has taken child brides?  I told them that I neither saw nor heard ANYTHING about child brides while I was there.  I do not advocate underage marriage.  I have always spoken out against that sort of thing, and there is a public record going back more than a decade of me speaking against these things on the Yahoo! discussion groups, on my blogs, and many other places.  I do not condone the taking of child brides!  This was not enough for antis.  They asked how I could say he was a good man, didn't I know that he had taken child brides?  It's in the media!  No, I had never heard of Winston Blackmore taking child brides, and, if he did, I do not approve.  I actually do not follow Blackmore's life in the media.  I have better things to do with my life. That's not good enough!  Would I go on public record and condemn Winston Blackmore for taking child brides?  And my answer is - no, I will not.  Just because something is reported in the media does not make it true.  We live in a nation where men are innocent until proven guilty, and I am sure that Canada has the same rule.  I will not condemn a man who has not had the chance to defend himself, and until it is proven, it is just conjecture.  It is just gossip.  And I will not resort to the tactics of the anti-polygamists in condemning a person simply based on hearsay, on rumor.

Argh!

Next, someone got a hold of the History Channel program we did, and blasted me for our living conditions!  I have always been very honest on this blog about our living conditions off-grid.  In fact, I wrote a six-part essay on it.  It is no secret.  This anti said that the way I make my family live is abuse and threatened to call CPS on me.  That is laughable.  That episode was filmed seven freaking years ago!  Anyone who knows me knows that I moved my family out of there years ago, improving our livin conditions.  It was only temporary.  Like I live in a static bubble in space-time, never moving, never changing, my children never growing up.  Yet, in her mind, I am still living there is this house, eternally off-grid, ready for her to call social services on us.  What a joke!

It started getting old really fast.  I spent the whole week online, responding to posts, defending everything to do with plural marriage, dealing with a constant barrage of hate.  It got to the point where I was tired of dignifying their bullshit with serious responses.  Check out this argument I had with a fake profile named "Marilyn":

How dare you accuse me of being vitriolic and having prior history of being adversarial. Kendra is nothing but a bully and cannot let anyone have a different opinion to her. She is an attention seeker that is all over every celebrity she can contact on Twitter. She has other aliases where she disrespects the Browns, it's common knowledge. Maybe I should rephrase that, she used to, maybe not anymore as many have called her out on it. Did you know she accused a member of one group of hiding in a UPS van to get into the Browns houses. I believe there is a lawsuit now against her for that and rightly so. Kendra misreads people's posts and jumps on them for no reason. Do you think that she should be the only one to give an opinion. Are you star struck because she knows the Browns? You are so quick to defend her. She is on many forums spouting her opinions and jumping on anyone that disagrees with her. She has said many, many rude things to me, including accusing me of having a fake account. You say you won't put up with bitchiness and snideness, I guess that doesn't apply to Kendra though. She has made so many enemies in forums for those exact "qualities". Now you are also being singled out as a bully. As for me "taking one for team" exactly what does that mean?I'm not on any team. It's all about the power for you and Kendra, to be an admin of a group is some sort of status symbol is it? Never assume that because I am old that I will sit back and take crap like this from anyone. Abuse is bad, but elder abuse is worse.

Moroni:  :) Relax. It's just Facebook.

Marilyn:  Yes it is but I resent being called names, and everything I said above is true. If I'm to relax, then you and Kendra need to do the same. Stop acting so high and mighty. That comment about me taking one for the team etc etc makes you sound do arrogant. I would guess that it's your association with Kendra that is making you that way. She is one disliked woman on facebook and for Robyn to let her be a spokesperson for them is Sister Wives suicide. They are probably more disliked because of her and her constant defending of them. So if as you say, it's just facebook and I should relax, why the Nasty comments about me, relax, scroll past when you see my name. Kendra can do the same

Moroni:  :) Thanks for writing!

Marilyn:  Sarcasm !!!!

Moroni:  Ra ragga !!!!

Marilyn:  No idea what that means but it look immature, you really want to go to Kendra's level

Moroni:  Chim chimney chimney chinny chin chin

Marilyn:  OMG

you really need to explain your words to us senior citizens

Remember, some day, if you are lucky, you will be one, hope people speak better English to you then

Do you speak "down " to your children also, seniors and children, all beneath you I assume

Moroni:  (Here I inserted the photo of Mr. Bean up above)

Marilyn:  Your latest photo? Are you threatening me?

You look a lot like Mr Bean lol How unfortunate is that

Moroni:  That's more like it! ;)

Marilyn:  I sincerely hope your kids don't look like you, that would be more than unfortunate

Moroni: 

Marilyn:  Omg noooooooooo, please do not creat any more

Create

Moroni:  LOL God bless!

And THAT is how you deal with antis!

At this point, I deleted her and blocked her off of the discussion group.  In fact, I started cleaning house.  I deleted anyone that was perceived by me to be an anti.  The problem was - I deleted the other admin, who was an anti.  I was contacted by Kendra and asked to add her back.  Apparently, this admin was a journalist and had unflattering info on the Browns that she was threatening to use.  So I ate humble pie.  For Kendra.  For the Browns.  I added this admin back and publicly apologized to her.  She took the chance to publicly rip me a new one.  I can't tell you how hard it was to bite my tongue and take it.  This admin then added back all her friends, and they swooped down on me like a murder of crows.  They publicly posted the above exchange and said that I was threatening this poor "Marilyn".  They made fun of me, my wives, my children, and anyone who had the nerve to stand up to them on my behalf.

So, one week after being made admin, I packed it up and resigned from the "Sister Wives" forum.  I lasted only one week.  I was relieved.  I can't believe the degree of stress it gave me.  I felt dirty after trying to engage those women.  Their hatred has no bounds.  They expend more of their energy on hatred than I could ever have.  There was a distinct presence of evil with them.

I was later contacted by people who had witnessed how I was treated.  They told me that this admin has a secret group where they marshal together and plot as a group on who they will attack and how they will do it.  She sent me this screen shot of the admin bragging about her actions.

It turned out that this admin was a tabloid journalist.  She was using the group to get dirt that she could publish in articles against the Browns.  And she did.  Several articles hit the web as a result of these events, several that attempted to fling mud at the Browns.  The funny thing is - she constantly bragged about being a "journalist".  But in the end, she just took the slightest hints of conjecture and rumor and stretched them and stretched them into a story of little substance.  So much for being a "journalist".  In fact, other anti-polygamists - like Sound Choices Coalition - actually did not approve of her methods, pointing out that they were low and damaging, stating that their "cause" would be better served using other and better methods.

To me, it is all part of a plot, a conspiracy.  I think this is part of a concerted effort to smear the name of the Browns.  After all the Browns did in court to get polygamy decriminalized, the best way to distract from what they have done is to mire them down with pettiness and scandal.  I, for one, will not pay it any heed.  I refuse to engage in rumor-mongering and speak ill about the Brown family, or any other plural family when the accusations are baseless.

It makes me kind of glad.  When we first did our TLC special with Dawn Porter, they so much as told me that they were scouting us out for the potential of a program of our own.  Then we were told that we were too "basic" to have a show of our own.  Can you imagine if we had said yes, if we wound up being on display for the whole nation?  I can't imagine having cameras in my face during my divorce.  Who knows what sort of "dirt" they would have fabricated on me or any of my wives?  No, for now, I am content to remain boring.  Basic.  Monogamous.  For now.

So once again, I say with emphasis:  Ra ragga!