Meeting Meri

The polygamy world is convoluted.  We might not all know each other, but we are somehow all connected - either by blood, by marriage, or by common association.  When I meet a fellow Mormon fundamentalist, the icebreaker is usually to play the "do you know who I know" game.

For instance, I have never met Kody Brown of "Sister Wives" fame.  We used to belong to the same polygamous congregation in Utah back in the '90s, and I "kind of" remember him.  I knew his wife Christine back then, but we haven't spoken in twenty years.

But, still, we are all connected.  My wife Martha's brother is married to Meri's sister.  I have never met her, but my wife Martha knows her.  They grew up around each other.  Martha has been in the world of Mormon polygamy world all her life, whereas I am a newcomer.  Meri also grew up in a plural family.  In fact, I knew her dad quite well.  I ran into him at a grocery store in St. Johns, Arizona shortly before he passed away.

Suddenly, the Browns are celebrities, and I had to reach into the dusty closet of my memories to try to remember what associations I had with them back in the day.  I have been away from Utah for quite a long time.

For the past four years, I have helped my brother-in-law run his airbrush booth at the Utah State Fair.  Every year, the Browns come by the booth to say hi to him and his wife.  I don't remember.  I am the counter help, and the Utah State Fair is one of the busiest shows in our season.  I talk to a lot of people all day.

But this past summer, I was watching for the Browns - expecting that they would probably show up, not knowing what I would say.

It wasn't until the last weekend of the fair that a group of sister-in-law's sisters showed up at the booth to visit.  Meri was with them.  I  recognized her immediately, of course.  They made small talk with my brother-in-law and his wife, and then Meri decided to order an airbrushed onesie for Robyn, who was still expecting her new baby at this point.  She wanted it to say, "I Just Spent Nine Months in Solitary Confinement."  There was quite a bit of speculation on the internet about the sex of the baby.  I figured that Meri knew, and I thought that I might be able to guess the sex of the baby based on the colors that she picked.  She picked a neutral green and brown as her background colors - the color brown, because they were the "Brown Family."

I turned from the counter to look at my brother-in-law.  "Do they get the family discount?" I asked him.

"Sure," he answered with a smile.  "Because you are family, after all."

"How are we family?" Meri asked me.

I explained that I was a Jessop, which name is ever ubiquitous in the polygamy world.  I explained that my great grandfather was an uncle to Lyman Jessop, who is the ancestor of most Jessops in Mormon fundamentalism.  I then explained that I was married to Martha.  Of course she knew who Martha was.

Meri and her sisters excused themselves to enjoy the day at the fair while we proceeded to get her onesie done.  When she came back a couple of hours later, I presented her with the onesie.  She thought it was adorable, and she couldn't wait to give it to Robyn.  Then she proceeded to laugh and talk with her sisters.  Apparently, a carnie had recognized her from TV and had made some comment.

Earlier in the week, I had had dinner with my sister, who lives in Utah.  I had asked how the Browns were generally received by most of the polygamists in Utah.  She told me that a lot of them didn't agree with what they were doing.  The world will never accept plural marriage.  And some have even labeled the Brown family as attention seekers.  This sounded all too familiar to me.  I had gone through something similar.

So I had something to say to Meri.

I approached her and said, "Have many polygs taken the time to thank you for what you are doing?"

"No," she answered.

"Well, thank you," I said.  "Thank you for putting yourselves out there for the rest of us."

"You're welcome," she said.  "Are you a polygamist?"

"Yes, I have two wives.  And you may not believe this, but we have actually done a show on TLC back in 2008..."

I proceeded to gush on and on about our experience.  I told her that we only had a TV crew in our house for a couple of days.  I can't imagine having cameras in your face for such an extended period of time.

"Well, it helps if you like your crew," she said.  "And we love our crew."

So Meri and her sisters excused themselves, and I went back to work.

I learned a couple of things from my visit with Meri Brown.

First, the way she kind of looked at me at while I was talking about MY TV experience - I don't think she believed me.  I think that she thought that I was making it up, like I was a pathological liar, trying to "one-up" her, or something.

Second of all, I had always assumed that the Browns knew who I was, since I had come into the spotlight around the same time as them.  My blog is prolific, and I have appeared on TLC and the History Channel.  I was wrong.  Meri Brown had no clue who I was.  She had no idea who my family was or any of the work we have done.  My work has impacted her life not a bit.  LOL

But I did get to thank her, and hopefully - from one polygamist to another - that meant something to her.