The Song Remains the Same: On "Sister Wives" With My Friends, the Colliers

Yours truly with the Colliers on "Sister Wives"

So, my TV days are not quite over.

I have some really good friends in Montana - the Colliers.  They are an established polygamous family that has been together for many, many years.

Back in 2011, they wanted to renew their marriage vows, so they flew me out to Montana to officiate in their wedding ceremony.  It was a beautiful experience.

Last Sunday, on "Sister Wives", it was previewed that - next Sunday, January 18th - the Colliers would be featured on the program.  Apparently, Kody Brown and his posse traveled to Montana for a week to visit the Colliers.

The interesting thing is - they showed photos from the wedding, and, on one of the photos, I was shown quite visibly.  To the point that I immediately got texts and Facebook messages from family members and friends who were watching and saw me.  I also got an email from a high school acquaintance whom I had not seen in 25 years who - for some reason - recognized me.

So, I will be watching the episode on January 18th to see the Colliers, but also to see if yours truly pops up on national TV again!  (Yes, I know.  I am a media whore.)

Also, notice the sweet Ramones shirt I am rocking.  After the reception, I immediately flew home.  I had already changed for the flight home.

Our Interview on KJZZ

You can listen to our broadcast on KJZZ, public radio in Phoenix, right here!  I'm pleased with the result!

Interview with KJZZ

Martha & Temple at preschool graduation, 2013

Back in 2011, I did an interview with NPR.  It turned out to be a very pleasant experience.  It was refreshing that the producers did everything that they said that they would, and we were pleased with the results.  (You can read about it here.  You can listen to it here.)  Sarah, the producer, spent some time with the phone on me, and she was very friendly, open, and kind.  After the interview, I friended her on Facebook.  I loosely kept in touch with her career at NPR, listening to some interesting pieces on music.  She has varied and eclectic tastes.  I always brag that I know a lot about the various music scenes, but Sarah is truly a hipster in the positive sense of the word.

Recently, she relocated to her hometown of Phoenix and went to work for the NPR-affiliated KJZZ.  I received the following email from her a couple of weeks ago:

"Hey Moroni,

"I'm so sorry that you haven't been feeling well lately, and I really hope that your foot/bad toe gets better soon!

"I was actually writing because I wanted to see if you'd be up for talking for another public radio story. This one is for KJZZ -- the public radio station in Phoenix. I remember you posting on Facebook a little while ago about separating from one of your wives, and that it was a unique and interesting transition to go from having two wives to only one. If you're open to it, I'd like to talk to you (and then have you talk to one of our hosts) about what that transition has been like for you and your family, and what it is like openly identifying as a polygamist while being in a monogamous relationship.

"Let me know what you think and of course if you have questions, and hopefully we'll talk soon!

"All the best, Sarah"

I immediately responded:

"Anything for you, Sarah. Sounds like an interesting topic. The only thing I would be emphatic about is maintaining Temple's privacy. We get along great, but she wouldn't appreciate being the focus of the interview."

So she called me, and we did a pre-interview.  Sarah told me that she needed to fact check a lot of the things I said with Temple, who has since moved on since we separated, and is now remarried.  I suggested that, as long as they were going to call Temple that they might as well ask her to be involved.

After the phone call, I sent Temple a text, saying, "You're going to get a phone call."  She became concerned and contacted me.  I explained a little bit about the interview to her.  Within a couple of days, Sarah had called Temple and explained the whole thing to her.

Temple called me and asked, "What are you expecting from this?"

I told her, "In the media, they constantly show wives that have left plural marriage in the context of 'Oh, she escaped polygamy!'  Your circumstance is different.  You are proof that not every circumstance is like that.  You have shown that two people can end a relationship like that and still remain friends."

So she agreed to do it.  So, last week, Martha, Temple, and I each called on our own phones into KJZZ and had a conference call with the host, Mark.  It was about a 35 minute interview, and it went very well.  Each of us got a chance to tell what our lives were like after plural marriage.  I have to say, I was very proud of Martha, and especially Temple.  The focus was on Temple, which it should have been.

Since the interview, Temple is suspicious about how the finished product will turn out after editing, given our previous experience with the  media.  I am confident that it will turn out okay.

The interview will air on KJZZ FM 91.5 in Phoenix only, tomorrow, April 25, between 2PM and 3PM, Arizona time.  You can listen to it here.  They will later post the interview on their website, and I will post a link later.

Dawn O'Porter Talks Polygamy

Dawn O'Porter

This morning, in the Independent in the UK, Dawn O'Porter spoke a bit about polygamy:

"Polygamy is not as harmful as tabloids make us believe I did a documentary on polygamy and I visited this affluent family in Utah with three wives and 16 very happy, bright, socialised and interesting kids. Though I'm anti-religion, I admired the way they were bringing up the children within the family unit and I thought, they're making this work. We must stop this tabloid-level judgement of alternative groups of society. We need to look at the good and the bad and try to have a balanced argument."


She was referring to the family she interviewed in Centennial Park.  I am a but disappointed that she didn't mention her interview with me or my family.  Perhaps because we are not "affluent".  But I was VERY pleased with her comments - her open-mindedness and positive outlook.

Thank you, Dawn O'Porter!  You rock!

Moroni's Review of TLC's "My Five Wives"

My Five Wives

In the wake of all of the anti-polygamy, "I-escaped-from-polygamy" books that seem to be prevalent, it is refreshing to see material that comes out that puts polygamous families and relationships in a positive light.  Being semi-isolated the way I am, I have not had a chance to see many of the TV shows that have come out.  Truthfully, I have only ever seen three episodes of TLC's "Sister Wives", and I really liked it.  I have never read "Love Times Three" by the Darger family - a family I knew back in my days living in Utah, nor have I seen their TLC special "My Three Wives", although I heard positive reviews about both.  I have never seen National Geographic's "Polygamy USA" that details the community in Centennial Park, AZ, although I have heard it was interesting.

When "My Five Wives" aired about a week, or so, ago, I also missed it.  I don't have cable or satellite, but I heard mostly good reviews about it.  I participated in many of the online discussions about it, but I finally got to watch it when TLC put it on their website here.

This one-time special deals with a polygamist man in Utah, Brady Williams, and his large family of five wives and many children.  Hopefully, this family will get their own program, because there was very little time in the allotted 45 minutes other than to introduce each of the wives and their respective children.  It would definitely take a whole series to explore the intricacies of the family.

Some of the criticisms - many of them coming from the Christian polygamous communities - included his housing arrangements.  Instead of everyone living in a common area, he has his house broken down into townhouse-style apartments.  The truth is - most polygamist houses in Utah are set up this way, and I thought it was a very good arrangement.  In fact, I am kind of jealous.  I wish that I had that kind of setup for my family.

There was a clip in the show where some of the wives express jealousy about Brady sharing the birthday with another wife.  Another online criticism was that, after fifteen years, it was unlikely that this was still an issue with the wives.  Having experienced plural marriage, I can say - wives can remember things for a long, long time - especially if it is an unresolved issue.  I thought it was very commendable how they met together and discussed the problem and come up with a solution.

There were also discussions about how he handled broaching the subject of health with a slightly overweight wife.  Some felt he was insensitive.  I thought it was handled tastefully with genuine concern.  I could find no fault with the way he handled it.

A lot of fuss was made about the family "leaving the religion", whatever that means.  The Williams belonged to the same congregation that I did back in the '90s, the AUB, just like the Browns on "Sister Wives".  I heard that the Williams left the AUB.  But they still seem spiritual, loving, and they radiate a goodness.  I have no problem with any of their decisions in regard to their religion.

The last criticism was about how he handled the issue of having another child with one wife, while another wife wanted to adopt a baby.  I admit, I would have handled the situation differently, but every family is different, has a different dynamic.

One of the things that I learned upon entering plural marriage, everyone automatically becomes an armchair judge of how you run your family and criticizes how you do things.  I don't know why.  Perhaps the expectation of you grows.  The things that people forget - people don't enter plural marriage because they are perfect.  They have to grow and work through things, just like everyone else.

I, for one, think that Brady (a guy I also knew back in the day) has a wonderful family.  They are beautiful, photogenic, well-adjusted, and happy.  They are a good face for polygamy, and I hope they return to the small screen.

Correspondence with Christine Marie Katas of Voices For Dignity

Recently, I had a correspondence with Christine Marie Katas of Voices of Dignity, who is also a member of anti-polygamist group, Sound Choices Coalition.  It was in regard to a post that I had made here.  In the post, I had included a black-and-white photo of women in KKK garb.  It was intended to draw an emotional response, and I admit that it was inflammatory on my part.  I have removed the photo at Ms. Katas's request.

Here is what she wrote to me:

Brother Moroni, I did not make up those statistics, my friend. They came from medical studies and other research submitted to and examined by the Chief Justice Bauman of British Columbia Supreme Court after "the most comprehensive judicial record on the subject ever produced, I have concluded that the Attorneys General and their allied Interested Persons have demonstrated a very strong basis for a reasoned apprehension of harm to many in our society inherent in the practice of polygamy..." 

If you would like to review the research and rationale for the decision yourself, you can study it right here: http://stoppolygamy.com/court-decision-on-polygamy/

I was sharing the facts of the court. My opinion was that creative thinking and collaboration should be explored in an attempt to make a difference. By no means did that make me part of a hate group.

That's silly. I care about the welfare of women and children - that did not merit posting a photo of the KKK. That photo is offensive even to look at. I have many African American friends. It would hurt them even to know a photo like that still exists and is being posted on the Internet. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you be so kind as to remove it?

I believe our time and energy would be better spent building friendships, collaborating, and figuring out how to change those harmful facts. 

No one wants to see people harmed. I am sure that is one area where we are in agreement, right? I am sure the solutions are out there. I hope you find them.

Kind regards,

Christine Marie


And here is my response:

Sister Christine,

I have taken the photo down at your request. First, because you requested it. And second, because you actually have made an effort to have a dialogue with the polygamous society. That is more than many of your contemporaries have done.

You have referred me to some research that corroborates your claims. I ask you the question - was this research done exclusively with the communities in British Columbia (FLDS and the Blackmore communities)? I would like to point out that many fundamentalist Mormons would not find any common ground with these communities - culturally, doctrinally, or socially. To me, it is akin to doing a polygamy study on Muslims and then applying that data to Mormons. We do NOT want to be painted with the same brush that is used to portray the FLDS, and other extreme groups.

I lived as a polygamist for 13 years, and, whereas my attempt has failed, it had nothing to do with polygamy. But the internet record speaks that for more than a decade, I have publicly spoken out against abuse (mental, physical, and emotional). I have spoken out against child marriages and arranged marriages. I worked for 9 years as a social worker, and used my knowledge as an advocate to get polygamous families to speak to the government and human service agencies.

So when you say that you have done a very detailed study in British Columbia, I believe you. But I do not feel it represents me, or the people I associate with.

You indicate that you are open to have dialogue with polygamous families to change that. I applaud that. And for that, I offer my sincere apologies for my post, which could be considered inflammatory. I am truly sorry. This is an emotional topic. I love my children more than anything in this world; I live for them. And the thought that a government agency and/ or advocacy group would take them away from me just because I am/ was a polygamist is terrifying to me. I was already witnessing hateful people WHO DID NOT KNOW ME spreading lies and speaking to the media about me. That is when I decided to go public and speak to the media, including starting this blog. So if I misrepresented you, I am sorry. I welcome any dialogue.

Please continue to speak to polygamists and draw them out of the shadows. Because it is in the shadows that the crimes are committed. Coming into the light and being able to converse is what will help us all.

Thanks again for responding,

Moroni Jessop

PS Perhaps I can refer you to "Polygamous Families in Contemporary Society" (Atlman, Ginat, 1996) which concludes that abuse and dysfunction do not occur in any greater rates in polygamous families than monogamous families.

I Know What I Did This Summer...

For anyone who wants to know how my summer went, I had a very good friend visit from Europe for the second year in a row.  It was a good visit.  He blogged about it here and again here.  Check it out.