Dr. Kat Talks About Polygamy

Check out this article here.

Dr. Kat is a well-known and respected sex and marriage therapist whom I have known for about 21 years. In this article, she discusses the Brown Family and their show "Sister Wives" on TLC.

Read the whole article! She does talk about me a little bit:

"I grew up in an area with alot of Mormons. I knew of one family who got excommunicated from the church because they followed the early Mormon tenants of plural marriage. I was very good friends with one of the sons. In the midst of discussing bands and art and generally hanging out like most teens and young adults do, we discussed with how one day the plight of Mormon polygamists would not only make an interesting television show but how it might help those of us busy just trying to keep one relationship working, understand and become more accepting of the concept. After all, these are just people trying to follow their belief system, provide for their families and love their partners."

I just have to comment a bit on Dr. Kat. I met her in high school when she was the quintessential, blond cheerleader-type. After getting her phone number and talking on the phone a few times, I quickly came to realize that she was (and is) one of the smartest people I know. Her open-mindedness was refreshing. She was one of the few people that I could talk to about absolutely anything. She shared my tastes in music. We liked the same kind of movies. (I have a specific memory of going to see David Lynch's "Wild At Heart" with her.)

Dr. Kat was open-minded enough that she was one of the first people that listened to me as I confessed my belief in plural marriage. She didn't shoot me down or act shocked. She accepted me for who I am. In fact, she was one of the first people I called when I announced that I was getting married to my first wife, Martha, and she joked, "Oooh, maybe I could be your second wife!"

It has been great to see her career grow as a sex therapist, and I have followed her advice columns and websites for years. I am really luck to have such diverse friends, and I feel very blessed to have a friend like Dr. Kat.

She also mentions in her article:

"I mean what we are protecting here? Whether it is to deny individuals the right to a civil marriage based on sexual orientation or because we think there is something lascivious about multiple wives, or the subjugation of women through this model (we can debate that at another time), the powers that be seem to spend alot of time trying to force the rest of us to do what they think is right. I can think of a few times in history when that didn’t turn out so well.

"I’d like to think that we as a culture are evolving and that we can expand our definition of marriage to include all that are consensual, loving and healthy for those who are engaged in them. Frankly, evolution is not as linear a process as we once thought. Sometimes we end up chasing our own tails or take two steps back to gain one forward. It is a painful process for all of us.

Ultimately, what is good for you may not be good for me and that’s OK. Mutual respect for one another makes more sense than trying to dictate who and how we love. That being said, maybe plural marriage and gay marriage movement should join forces?"

I have always said that gay marriage and plural marriage are strange bedfellows. (Platonic bedfellows, okay? LOL) But it appears that we are in the same boat. And if there were other metaphors, I would use them as well. The older I get - I realize that I don't want anyone telling me what I can or ought to do in my own home, in my own bedroom and with whom. Why would anyone else NOT want the same right? Society, government, church - NO ONE - has the right to tell us how to live our lives - gay, straight, polygamist, monogamist, etc.

And that is my opinion. I will fight for my rights, and I will fight for yours. Have a good day. :)