Temple

So I said that I would write about Temple tonight...

When I first married Martha, we made an agreement (together) that we would live the Principle. Even so, Martha had a hard time with even the idea of entering plural marriage. We could not talk about it. We could not even joke about it.

I remember that I bought a Sega Genesis (which was all the rage in the early '90s). I loved that machine. I would game until my eyes dried up in their sockets. I joked with Martha that I would take my Sega Genesis as a second wife. so that I could divide my time equally between them. Martha did not find that funny.

About a year after Martha and I tied the knot, I met a girl from England (who came from a Mormon fundamentalist family.) I thought she was pretty, intelligent and it drove me nuts that other fundamentalist young men were intimidated by her due to the fact that she was foreign. But I didn't think much else about her until I dreamed that she was my second wife. And then I dreamed it again. And again. It got to the point that I was dreaming every night about it. I figured that I had better tell Martha.

So one morning, I woke up and told Martha about what I had been dreaming. She put her head down on her pillow and cried. I felt awful.

But the next Sunday, she walked over and started trying to befriend this English girl. It didn't work out, but that doesn't matter. The point is - Martha and I crossed that line where we were actively trying to become a polygamous family.

I tried finding another wife, but it is not like dating in the conventional sense. You already have a wife for one.

I remember that I prayed to God once as to which lucky girl I should try to date, and one young woman immediately came to mind. "Not her, " I thought. She was a sweet girl, but a little overweight (okay, I am shallow) and I was not attracted to her.

So I set out and called this girl's dad and asked if I could court her. He said that he would get back to me. Over the next week, I sat back and waited for her ecstatic reply. What a lucky girl she would be, I thought, to have a guy like me as her husband. I would be rescuing her. One week went by - no reply. On the second week, I realized that - in spite of her weight - she was a very attractive girl. I think I could learn to love her.

After two weeks with no reply, I was starting to wonder. So I called her dad back.

He told me, "I talked to her, and, I'm sorry, but she's just not interested. But you asking about her gave her the confidence and courage that she needed to ask someone that she has had her eye on."

My first feeling was relief. My second feeling was a sense of loss that she was not interested in me. She got engaged to someone else and ran into my sister.

"How is Moroni?" she asked my sister. "I hope he's not feeling to bad about this."

"Ha!" I thought. "Me?? Feel bad??"

But then I realized that inadvertently I had made her feel good about her self. Perhaps that was God's intent on having me go through this.

Years later, Martha and I got a phone call from her father. He was a truck driver at the time, hauling vehicles all across the country. He would be passing by down I-40, and he asked if we could drive up to Holbrook at meet him for dinner. So we drove 60 miles north to a truck stop where we sat in a restaurant and had ribs with him.

He gave us some advice about entering polygamy. "If you and Martha will covenant with each other and God that you will accept into your family whomever He sends, the doors will open up for you to live this law."

So in a parking lot in Holbrook, Arizona at midnight, Martha and I sat in our car alone and made that promise to God.

Months later, I started to date Martha's younger sister.

It is funny to write this, because she is now married to my older brother, Tony. And I cannot imagine any other possible outcome except that they be married.

We went on a couple of dates, but it didn't work out. However, I had invested myself emotionally into the whole situation. Martha's father approached me and said that the girl was not ready and that I should give it time. Perhaps in another year or so, I could try again. I agreed with this assessment.

Years later, my older (and single) brother approached me and asked if I minded if HE gave it a try to date Martha's sister. I told him to go ahead, but I felt an uncharacteristic stab of jealousy. The jealousy only increased as I watched them grow closer and closer.

"Martha's sister is senstive," I told myself. "Tony is gruff and outspoken. He's going to say something that will hurt her feelings, and then she will break up with them and be free to court me."

As soon as I caught myself in this thought, I asked myself - how would I really feel if she dumped Tony for me? I realized that I would not want Tony to be hurt. To the point that - even at the sacrifice of my own feelings, I would want her to stay with Tony.

The very second I admitted this to myself, the feelings of jealousy - even the feelings of what I thought was love - were gone. It was like a weight lifted off of my chest, and I understood the whole reason I had experienced such intense emotions. Even though she was not mine to give, I had to give her emotionally to my brother. I experienced all of this so that I would understand what Martha had to go through as she watched me take another wife.

I had tried to enter polygamy many times over the years. I now realized that I had never been ready or emotionally mature enough to live it successfully. Now, for the first time, I felt ready to live the Principle.

I told Martha, "It's like I am in love with someone out there, and I don't know who."

Three weeks later, my mother was visiting some friends in Richfield, Utah. She met a family that had a daughter that was 18 years-old. My mom said that she had really like this young lady, and then she leaned over and whispered to me, "I think that she would go very well in your family."

This young lady's name was Temple.

I went home and told Martha, "This is her. This is the one we have been waiting for."

I decided that I would write this young lady, even though I had never seen her. I went and shared the news with my mother. She was shocked.

"You've never even met her!" she said. "Don't you even want to wait until you see her?"

I reluctantly agreed with my mother. It would be crazy to write a girl I had never met. I went home and went to bed.

When I woke up, I found that my wife Martha had written a letter to Temple. I took this as a good omen. So I wrote a letter to Temple's father, and I wrote a letter to Temple and put all three letters in an envelope.

I remember going to the post office and holding that letter halfway inserted into the slot, thinking, "If I drop this envelope, it will be too late."

I dropped the letter...

Two weeks later, I had a chance to go with my parents to Utah. Tony went with us. We decided to stop and visit Temple's parents. I was nervous to finally get to meet her. Tony kept asking, "What if she is ugly?"

Temple's brother answered the door. He had shoulder-length hair. For a moment, Tony assumed that the long-haired brother was Temple. "Oh man," he thought. "I feel sorry for Moroni."

I met Temple and was immediately attracted to her. The feeling was mutual. That night, we talked on the phone and she laid the rules and groundwork for a courtship. We corresponded for two months and got married two months after that.

So what is it like to become a polygamist? Tune in soon and find out.


.