Bringing Hope To Short Creek: Southwest Recovery Mission's Labor of Love

Colorado City, Arizona

In the 1930s, an isolated piece of real estate came into the possession of the Priesthood Group, a loosely organized body of renegade hold-outs of polygamy, recently cut off from the LDS Church.  It seemed perfect, isolated, remote, only accessible (then) by dirt road, nestled against the Vermillion Cliffs on the Arizona Strip, hugging the Utah-Arizona border, originally called Short Creek.  It seemed the perfect place to practice their religion, which included plural marriage and a variation of a Mormon communal system of United Order that they later branded the United Effort Plan (UEP).

There were built-in issues from the beginning.  I spoke to a man who lived there in the early days, in the 1940s, and he told me, tongue-in-cheek, that the only "freedom" he had while living there was to decide whether or not to get his wife pregnant.  (That even changed with Warren Jeff's prison edict that no man could have sexual relations with his wife without his express permission.)  This same man told me of a story - he went with the other men to fell lumber on the Kaibab, and, while he was gone, the "Priesthood" came into his house, and, while his helpless wife looked on, they emptied his pantry of all food to redistribute to other members, leaving him only two jars of peaches.

Since those days, the community has grown, being incorporated into two cities - Colorado City on the Arizona side, and Hildale in Utah.  And over the years, so has the abuse of ecclesiastical leadership increased - arranged and forced marriages, underage unions, and a plethora of other abuses,  I have a theory about this - if a community and its lifestyle becomes, in and of itself, illegal and is forced into isolation, it becomes a fertile breeding ground for tyranny and oppression for the people under a despotic leader.  This is what happened to the FLDS community under megalomaniac Warren Jeffs, who maintains his control from prison.

In recent months, there have been arrests and warrants issued for many of the leaders involved in a Food Stamp (SNAP) fraud case.  As a former Arizona welfare caseworker myself, I was aware of welfare and benefit fraud as a prevalent problem in this community.  In essence, what the leadership was doing was collecting EBT cards from the people in the community and using it to redistribute food to other people.  But the way this worked was that the elite were eating lobster for dinner, and those maligned were lucky if they got anything.  So basically, the "Priesthood" was controlling all the food as a way to control the people.  If your behavior was acceptable, you were awarded food.  If it was not, you were denied food and literally starved, along with your wives and your children.  I can think of nothing more insidious than the deliberate starving of children!

Luckily, there have been people and organizations that have worked against the odds.  From the Safety Net initiative, an interstate government cooperative organization whose primary focus in the FLDS in this region to some people organizing a music festival, many have felt called or driven to help the less fortunate in the Short Creek area.

Southwest Recovery Mission Ministries is one such organization.  They are a non-profit whose mission is to bring food to the deprived children and families of Colorado City and Hildale.  They accept food donations from various donors and churches in primarily Utah and Nevada and make sure that these donations get to families in need among the FLDS, those who have fallen victim to the evil machinations of the leadership.  They make sure that these families have enough food to provide their children.  With the donations they receive, they are also provide clothing for those in need.  The leadership has also made sure that utilities are so expensive that they provide a burden on the people, and Southwest Recover Mission makes sure that people do not have their water and electricity because they cannot pay exorbitant bills.

I recently spoke to Alan Curtis, one of the organizers and volunteers at Southwest Recovery Mission.  He talks about driving into Colorado City for the first time and remembers having seen it in a dream.  It was almost as if he was called to help these people.  Soon, he met Phil Jessop, a local who had been cut off from the FLDS twenty years earlier and had been working to bring about positive change for years.  Al tells me the early days were adventurous, complete with threats from the Goon Squad, or local enforcers.  Many of the families that accepted help were often punished by the leadership.  But the ministry has brought positive influence, and the work that they are doing is mostly accepted by the community.

Al is refreshingly self-effacing about his role in the mission and stated that he did not want to draw attention to the organizers but to the mission itself, and he gives credit for their success to the women of the former FLDS who used their networks to spread the word and encouraged many families who were suffering to come forward and receive help.  He says that many of the families who have been on the receiving end of assistance, once they get on their feet, turn around and help other families.

The main opposition that the ministry faces is getting funding.  Often, they resort to paying for food shipments out of their own pockets.  Whereas many local churches have donated funds and food, Al says that the greatest challenge is getting other Christian churches to want to help a people with such social stigma as polygamy placed on them.

I would strongly encourage you to donate to this cause.  You can make a donation on their website or on their Facebook page.

For those among the FLDS, emergency food boxes are provided usually on Thursdays at"

2012 Bubbling Well Lane

Apple Valley, Utah 84737

Contact:  Donna McGinnis

(224) 217-2405

This is a good organization, and they are bringing hope and sustenance to a people who have long needed it.  Please consider donating.  It's a worthy cause, whether you are for polygamy, or against it.

HOW TO GET A SISTERWIFE

Okay, that title was a little misleading, because the truth is - I really don't know.  I can only say what has worked and what hasn't worked for me.  But I am asked this question ALL THE TIME.  I get emails from people I have never met, asking me this elusive of questions:  How do I find another wife?

Being a polygamist is a unique experience - because you aren't single, so you can't exactly be trolling the single's bars.  But you are kind of available, so you can keep your options open.  But how do you convince women - in this day and age of One Man/ One Woman - that the ancient, biblical practice of plural marriage is right for her, and that you are willing to be her polygamy partner?

Well, first of all, you need at least one wife who is willing.  I can't tell you how many men have asked me, "I really want to live polygamy, but how do I get my first wife to accept it?  She ain't having it!"

If the above scenario is you, then I am sorry for you.  Polygamy is about consenting adults, and you cannot force anyone into it.  Polygamy is not worth giving your first wife up over.  Why would you put somebody through pain and agony when they are not really into it?  If you want your first wife to live plural marriage, then convince her through long-suffering, prayer, teaching, patience, love and understanding, NOT by bringing home the chick you met at the biker bar and presenting her as wife #2.  In Mormonism, we call this the "Law of Sarah".  In the Bible, Sarah gave Hagar as a wife to Abraham.  Your first wife should have the opportunity to make this decision with you.  It's about honoring her.  There is no worse way to try to live plural marriage than to have someone not into it.  For the sake of your sanity, don't do anything stupid like rushing into this.

Second of all, you need to find a woman - or women - who are willing.  I don't know if you have noticed, but women who are willing to live plural marriage are not dropping out of the sky.

Wait, I take it back.  They are.  That is how Temple came into my life.  I wasn't really looking, and the opportunity presented itself.  Temple came out of nowhere.  I know to this day that God brought her into my life.  One reason - honestly, what would such a beautiful, young lady want with a toad like me?  She was a Godsend, an angel that flitted into my life.

Shortly after I married her, I decided that the internet would be a great place to find the next wife.  I signed up for several dating sites.  I listed on my profile that I was a "polygamist".  Guess how many hits I got?  None.  Zilch.  Zip.  So - in a sly maneuver - I changed my profile to "single".  I started getting several hits.

Several were from Russia.  "This is weird," I thought.  "Why are there so many single, beautiful women in Russia?"  I started getting the same letter from different Russian girls.  Not similar letters, the same!  And they all started asking for money for plane tickets.  It becomes disheartening when you realize that the hot Russian babe that you are trying to convince of the truthfulness of plural marriage is really some dude behind a computer in Minsk.

I didn't realize what I was doing until I caused a young, single Muslim girl in Uzbekistan to fall in love with me.  We wrote every day.  We talked on the phone, and she thought I was single.  When the time came to admit to her that I was a polygamist, it broke her heart.  I caused that young lady some real pain and some real tears.  I felt like such an ass.

I decided then and there that I would be completely honest about who I was and what I was seeking.  I would never lie again.  I haven't used the dating sites ever since.

Then there are the polygamy dating sites.  If you could see me type, you would see me laughing out loud.  Most of them are a joke.  When you look at those enrolled, it is mostly couples "seeking sisterwives", and there are very few single ladies.  And when single ladies come around, they are a hot commodity, sought by all.  My wife Temple calls it "the rat race".

I did correspond with a few women this way.  I will tell you about one woman.  She was a divorcee in Georgia.  I kept asking her why she had divorced, because that is kind of an important topic to me.  Whenever I asked, she always evaded the question.  She wanted to talk on the phone.  But she would not give me her number.  She called my phone, and she always restricted her call so that I could not see her number.

She wan't Mormon, so I thought that the first step would be for her to gain a testimony of my religion.  So I arranged for her to get a Book of Mormon.  This is how our email conversations ensued:

Woman:  When do I get to marry you?  When do I get to be your third wife?
Moroni:  Have you read the Book of Mormon yet?
Woman:  No.  When are you going to marry me?
Moroni:  We aren't even talking about that until you read the Book of Mormon.


This went on for a while until I just stopped answering her, because it was evident that she really wasn't interested.  As a man, I am always coming across women who pretend to be interested in plural marriage and will indulge in the act of establishing an online relationship, but never want to take it to the next level.  I don't understand such people, but they are out there in droves.  Here are some warning signs when dealing online with a prospective wife:

1)  If she is only interested in you, and not your other wife/ wives and children - run!  Run away!  She is not a candidate for your family.
2)  If she does not want to meet you, and always has an excuse why you can't meet, she is not real.  I'm sorry.  Move on to someone who is willing to invest time and effort to get to know you.
3)  If she is not willing to provide personal information (phone number, photos, mailing address, etc.) - at the same time professing that she wants to become your plural wife - she is not real.


I don't know what motivates such people.  I don't understand why anyone would invest so much time and energy into deception (unless you are working for/ with the anti-polygamist organizations), but it is to the point that I am skeptical about Every.  Single.  Person.  until i know them face to face.  (On a side note, one such person actually admitted to me that she was playing such a game, and she has since become once of my best friends on the planet.  Anyone remember Molly?  LOL  I still talk to her.)

That said, I admit that I have not been the best prospective husband in the world.  I have communicated with some really sweet women, and I let the relationships wither on the vine.  Because online relationships are not always the easiest.  For me, I need face to face contact to establish a true connection.

But all of this has lead me to believe - the internet is NOT a great place to meet a wife.  I have given up on that a long time ago.  Instead, it is a great place to network with people who share similar beliefs.  So I use the internet to talk to people and tell them what works for me, about my own experience.

That doesn't mean that it can't work online.  I know many people who have met their plural wives online.  I am just saying that it has never worked for ME, personally.

One other pet peeve - the families that allow the wife do do all the sisterwife seeking.  I believe that wives should take a proactive role in the seeking out of wives, but some men turn this responsibility over completely to their wives.  It has been my general observation that such women become monsters.  They become more aggressive in pursuing a woman than a man generally would, and they don't take rejection well.  A man will pine and mourn the loss of a prospective wife quietly, and then move on.  A woman will fume and rage and curse that woman and her posterity and ancestors for all time and eternity.  LOL

Another pet peeve:  She is a "sisterwife" only to your wife, dude.  Not to you.  The lingo is new to the American consciousness, thanks to the show "Sister Wives".  To the man, she is a "plural wife", or even just a "wife".  If you are the man, she cannot be your "sisterwife".  That has some incestuous connotations, and that's just sick.  ;)

But to answer the question:  How do you find a sisterwife?

Answer:  Take a chance.  If it is online, that's fine.  But I am sure that you and your wife know at least one single lady that you would like to see come into your family.  Take a chance and talk to her.  What's the worst that can happen?  She might say no.  But you never know.  She might say yes.

That said, I am still open to any and all questions.  I hope this generates discussion.  Peace.

New Baby

So, I had a baby boy born to Martha and I on Sunday, April 19, 2009. He was born at 12:10PM in Arizona, and weighed 10 lbs., 5 oz.

The only problem is that I was not there...

The ultrasound said the baby was due March 28th. But the midwife insisted that she was due April 12th.

And I am still working in South Carolina.

We had been waiting on a carpet delivery for the hotel project we are working on, and the first week of April was the Master's Open. So the hotel was sold out and wanted no work during the golf tournament.

What this means... I got laid off for the first week of April. So I took the chance that the baby could come during this time and flew home.

It was a nice visit, but it became evident that Martha had not dropped. So we both knew (from experience) that the baby wouldn't be coming soon.

The project in South Carolina is due to end at the end of April, and I have no work slated after that. So after much discussion, Martha and I decided that the family would be best served if I went back to South Carolina. So I flew back to Columbia.

Sunday morning, April 19, Temple called me. She asked me if I had spoken to Martha. I told her that Martha hadn't called me in a couple of days. Temple told me that the previous night, Martha's water had partially broke. She told me that it wouldn't be that long before the baby would come.

I was in disbelief. "What? Like in a couple of days?"

"No," Temple said. "Today."

A couple of hours later, Martha called me to say that she was starting to feel contractions come on.

I paced the hallways, waiting for the carpet to be installed. The frustration that I was not there, could not be there was beyond belief.

An hour or so later, Temple texted me - the baby was in the birth canal. I texted her back: Let me know.

An hour or so later, she texted back... a photo of a baby boy.

I am amazed. I have not seen him yet, beyond seeing his photo.

Martha is still resting at my mother's house, getting some rest. She is amazing.

Temple is at home, watching Martha's kids (alomg with her own). She is feeding them, helping them with their homework, doing the shopping for 10 other kids, running errands, etc. Temple is also amazing. This is what being a sisterwife is all about.

I can't wait until I go home.... (Next week, I think.)

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