The Morning After

I had a little bit of time to sleep on it, and I am not as upset as I was yesterday.

Someone posted a response to my post and pointed out that Dawn actually had said a few things that were possitive about me and my family, as well.

So right now, I am in Duncan, Arizona, running the airbrush T-shirt stand at the Greenlee County Fair. Our booth was seated right next to "Vote Yes For Proposition 102" stand. They are trying to support a bill on the next election that would define marriage in the Arizona State Constitution as being between "One Man And One Woman". Mostly, they are opposing gay marriage. But they are also targeting polygamists with this legislation. It would basically put provisions in the constitution that would forever ban my type of relationship forever.

I found myself sitting behind my booth, glaring at these (mostly elderly and Mormon) people handed out stickers to the public that advertised taking away my rights (and the rights of gay people). I couldn't help but be a little resentful.

To top things off, they would look at me with disgust/ shock/ anger, also. But it wasn't because I am a polygamist. But because I wore a custom-made, airbrushed T-shirt that said "Official Member: Illuminatti". It has a guy on it with a barcode tattooed on his forehead with the numbers "666". What can I say? My fetish for all things Masonic.

I was tired when I left the fair, and I stayed at the house of a relative in Thatcher. I let him read Dawn's article. He didn't think it was that bad. He also pointed out that she had said alot of nice things about me and my family.

You know, I wasn't expecting Dawn to say only nice things about us. I really only object to two things in her article:

1. That we presented a false, "rose-tinged" image of ourselves.
2. That Martha & Temple lied about not being jealous and being happy

The truth was:

A. We were brutally honest. We had serious reservations about showing our home and the type of poverty we live in. We allowed them into our homes anyway. Warts and all. We answered even the tough questions honestly.

B. The girls DID tell Dawn that they experience jealousy from time to time. But that does not conclude that they are unhappy.

That is the great thing about my family - we live polygamy, and we are happy. I guess that is not what the public wants to see. Hank, on of the producers, kept going on about how "standard" we are. (Read: "boring")

I have been advised to reserve judgment until I see the program, and so I will. But I am growing very leery.

Simon Andrae won accolades for his show "The Miracle of Life". I cannot believe that he would follow it up with tabloid TV.

We'll see...

It is called "Dawn Porter: The Polygamist's Wife", and it airs on Channel 4 on October 21 at 10PM.

I don't think that Dawn understands the fear that motivated us to do this show to begin with. We were already falling under negative public scrutiny, and doing this program seemed to be a good way to counteract this and to say what we felt needed to be said in a forum that would be a little friendlier to us.

It would be ironic if this program wound up biting us in the ass. Then there really would be no hope in the world.

I wonder if the folks at Incubator TV realize that I have estranged myself from the polygamist world for violating one of our unspoken taboos - going to the media.

There are so many people out there who think I was foolish and made a mistake.

Do you realize how humiliating it would be to look them in the eye and admit that they were right all along???

Moroni