"Dawn Porter: Free Lover" airs today at 10PM in the UK! My segment will air on October 21.
Thanks to Dawn's letter, I am no longer aprehensive about it, but actually looking forward to it. As I said, I do not expect them to do a completly to a possitive approach, but an honest one.
To tell you the truth, I am less worried about how Dawn will portray me than some of the dumb sh** things I remember saying. Like the adultery thing.
Melissa, my friend in Alabama (who is not Mormon) told me, "I do not believe you. You are NOT adulterous by nature. If it was just you and Martha, I know you would not cheat."
You know, she is right. I don't think I could cheat, even if I wanted to. It isn't my nature. There are so many tabboos in my religious beliefs attached to cheating that I don't think I could.
Like I said, I said what I did to be a commentary for what I view as the polygamous nature of men, but in retrospect I think it was a dumb thing to say.
The most embarrassing moment - I remember that I dropped the F-Bomb once on camera. I think that my desire was to show that - as a religious fundamentalist - I do not perceive myself as prudish. I think that mainly it was just foolish and an insult to Mormon polygamists everywhere. I apologize for my weakness. I am not even sure if they will show it.
I did watch the clips on "Free Lover". It looks interesting and provacative - very different from the world that I am used to! Watch it if you can!
I did want to make a few observations about Joel (the cameraman's) interpretion of the shoot.
First of all, I really liked Joel. He was funny and neurotic - a fussy little man in a Woody Allen-esque sort of way.
But I find it odd how these people had such mixed experiences in dealing with my family. In my first blogs, you will see me gushing on how much I enjoyed the shoot and liked the crew. Then I find out that they felt differently.
1. Okay, I am Mexican. LOL. And proud of it. But I am also half English. Proud of that, too. The way Joel keeps going on and on about me being Mexican, I wonder if he has had some bad experiences with Mexicans in L.A. We are not all gang-banging vato locos, but generally we all like menudo and tortillas.
2. So which are we? I am Mexican; Martha is "kinda Asian". Or are we "white trash"? I had believed Hollywood people to be ultra-politically correct. Or is it the other way around?
3. Okay, I am a "fat Mexican". I get it. I am fat. I read it in Dawn's article. I read it several times in Joel's blog. Is there anyone who does not now know that I am fat?? I have gone on a diet and have lost 10 lbs. in the last month, so that is changing. I remember Joel making a big deal about a lunch that Martha made. She served us leafy salad and homemade stew and rolls. She shredded us some cheese to sprinkle on the stew, and Joel freaked about that, saying how unhealthy it was. To me, it was pretty healthy.
4. We were not homeschooling while they were there, because the "teachers" were being pulled aside every few minutes to do interviews. BTW, all kids are now in public school.
5. The stink - whenever the wind blows in from the east (as it was the days they were shooting) it kicks up an odor from under the trailer. We think it is the cats. It is not a smell that we live with constantly. (The wind seldom blows in from the east.) We were embarrassed already by it. Thanks for making the embarrassment keener. :)
6. Our toilets work.
7. The running water is disconnected, because we don't have enough gravity to get water from the well. There is a spicket next to the house that we use to fill water.
8. The trailer is in bad condition. It was only intended to be temporary. For years, my income went to support our commune (called a United Order). I am trying to better our living circumstances, but it will take time.
9. The chained-up dog was not vicious. It was a stray that we took in, so its lifestyle was considerabely better than it was before. The dog is spoiled on table scraps, so of course it would not eat a Cliff bar. I know few HUMANS that could stomach a Cliff bar, let alone a dog.
10. Joel does not know why my mother and I have differences, but it is NOT the reason he listed. I won't talk about it either.
11. We talked freely about our "Garments". Dawn asked us about them, and I did mention that some think they offer special protection, but I am not one of those. They are a sacred piece of clothing that represent my covenants with God - nothing more, nothing less. And they are certainly NOT magical.
12. My favorite memory of Joel: Watching Sandy (who is 6 foot 7 inch) tease Joel about being so short, and Joel answers, "I may be short, but I am appealing."
13. Congrats to you, Joel, on your new baby.
* * *
One cool thing that happened to me yesterday - I got a letter from someone in Safety Net, the network working with the FLDS people in Arizona and Utah. Here is part of the letter:
Hi Moroni! Thanks for responding to me. The safety net is a collaboration btw active polygamists, advocates, social workers, law enforcement, and others. We are trying to repair some or the damage that has been done over the years. We are there to help people with social services but also to advocate for their rights etc... I have no opinion about plural marriage and understand the benefits associate with it. I do stand against abuse. Tell me more about you. Did you convert to the work? Any insights you have on what I am trying to do would be great. Any relatives down this way you think I should meet, etc? Good to hear from you!
Here is my response:
Hi, it's nice to hear from you. It sounds like you have a good network, and I hope that it is successful.
My training is in human services, and, although I work now in the construction industry, I spent 9 years as a case manager for Arizona's Department of Economic Security and was nominated by the governor for my work on devloping a diversity initiative for the agency. I have a different mindset when it comes to the polygamist world and social services.
For once, I do not believe that Arizona's CPS is as bad as Texas's agency, with the intent of ripping children away from the homes of polygamists. I understand organizations like CPS a little bit more than most and think that polygamist's fears of these agencies is exagerrated. I have always stated that the best way to resolve issues is to bring polygamist families to the table with law enforement and social service agencies. Removing the culture of secrecy is the best way to end malicious practices like placement and child marriages.
In addition, I networked with the polygamist community here in Apache County with the Family Assistance Administration and educated people that lying to get benefits would not protect families. Apache County is one of the few counties with polygamist communities that has little to no welfare fraud, due to my efforts.
I also do not believe in abuse.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
The Cameraman's Blog
I found a blog of the shoot documented by Joel, the cameraman. It is pretty interesting, disregarding the fat comments as well as the stinky house comments. (God save us from snobby Los Angelans.)
http://joelcam.blogspot.com/2008/04/mormons.html
.
http://joelcam.blogspot.com/2008/04/mormons.html
.
Dawn Porter Rocks!!! Read Her Letter & See Why
Letter Moroni received from Dawn Porter:
Dear Moroni
I have been reading your blog ever since I met you. I really enjoy it. The last one, however, was not such a pleasant read.
I totally hear where you are coming from with everything you said. if you look down to the bottom of the article that you read, you will see the words, INTERVIEW BY AMANDA CABLE. I didn't write it. I was interviewed on the phone, and it was written as me. True, the scene setting is classic tabloid journalism. But that is standard, they built it around what I told them. And you did say to me that you had your heart broken many times. And then Martha and Temple clearly said that you were like a bear with a sore head when it happens, but that it doesn't upset them, and that they fully support wife number three.
On the other hand, I don't think that myself or anyone involved was disloyal to you with our intentions. We did set out to show Polygamy in a positive light, and i believe we did. But there are downsides. We showed them too.
There are lots of things about the way that you live that neither myself, Charlie or Hank agreed with. The conditions, for example, the home schooling. I haven't denied that in my program, but I also think that when we had our chat up on the hill, I addressed most of those things, and we had a really civilized conversation about it. I thought your honesty was really admirable, we all did. And the chat on the hill is included in the film.
This is so odd that you blogged today. I actually sent an email to Simon (who you can trust) this morning saying how much I liked you, and how impressive an individual you are. And mostly how lucky we were that you agreed to take part, and were so open. Then I read your blog and see how upset you are. I felt I had to get in touch.
You have your faults, and I saw them. But you have some bloody good points as well, and I saw those too. You come across well.
There will be moments of my program that you won't like, and wish were different. But I don't think you ever expected a 100% pro Polygamy show? It isn't the social norm, so it is hard for us who are conditioned otherwise to understand it. But don't you worry, I saw many benefits too. I was surprised at how many.
The world has a really negative view of Polygamy, and then there I was, welcomed into the homes of two very kind and loving families. I was proud to be positive about the way that you live. But my job is to show the whole picture, as I saw it. Not just the romantic version because we all got along so well.
I question why a woman would want to be Polygamous. Not because of indoctrination, or being manipulated. But because it is hard for me to imagine why anyone would want to share their husband. That is the question I wanted answered, and it confused me the entire time I was making the program. I am still not sure I understand it.
You will be surprised, Moroni. Everyone that has seen the program so far expected to dislike you. And absolutely everyone has been proved wrong.
I see cracks in your scenario, I find it difficult to understand why you want more children when supporting the ones you have isn't easy as it is. But I never have denied that I think you are a good man at heart, and although it isn't for me, Polygamy is no where near as terrible as the rest of the world thinks it is. My program shows that.
As for Diane in Centennial Park. Her interview was fascinating. She gave another angle, and one that we had to hear. Jealousy exists, there is no denying it. But it wasn't the whole focus of our film. Like I said, I think I showed it as exactly how it seemed for an on looker, and considering the pre-conceptions, I think we did you fair.
I like you very much Moroni. I don't make TV shows to upset and destroy people, but I do make them to show the rest of the world something they haven't seen before. Not everyone is always going to be happy. But the intentions are not to just do as the media has done before, but to discover the heart and reason as to why people chose alternatives to monogamy and conventional relationships. Whether I agree with it or not.
Pass on my regards to Martha and Temple. I know they do not look alike, and I also know you haven't got bucked teeth. But like I said, people will see that for themselves when they see the show.
I will continue to follow your news. I hope this email made you feel a little less in the dark.
I don't expect you to be over the moon with our portryal of you, but I do think it is honest, and will make most people swallow their words, and see Polygamy slightly more positively.
Dawn ( The not THAT goodlooking TV presenter) x xx
.
Dear Moroni
I have been reading your blog ever since I met you. I really enjoy it. The last one, however, was not such a pleasant read.
I totally hear where you are coming from with everything you said. if you look down to the bottom of the article that you read, you will see the words, INTERVIEW BY AMANDA CABLE. I didn't write it. I was interviewed on the phone, and it was written as me. True, the scene setting is classic tabloid journalism. But that is standard, they built it around what I told them. And you did say to me that you had your heart broken many times. And then Martha and Temple clearly said that you were like a bear with a sore head when it happens, but that it doesn't upset them, and that they fully support wife number three.
On the other hand, I don't think that myself or anyone involved was disloyal to you with our intentions. We did set out to show Polygamy in a positive light, and i believe we did. But there are downsides. We showed them too.
There are lots of things about the way that you live that neither myself, Charlie or Hank agreed with. The conditions, for example, the home schooling. I haven't denied that in my program, but I also think that when we had our chat up on the hill, I addressed most of those things, and we had a really civilized conversation about it. I thought your honesty was really admirable, we all did. And the chat on the hill is included in the film.
This is so odd that you blogged today. I actually sent an email to Simon (who you can trust) this morning saying how much I liked you, and how impressive an individual you are. And mostly how lucky we were that you agreed to take part, and were so open. Then I read your blog and see how upset you are. I felt I had to get in touch.
You have your faults, and I saw them. But you have some bloody good points as well, and I saw those too. You come across well.
There will be moments of my program that you won't like, and wish were different. But I don't think you ever expected a 100% pro Polygamy show? It isn't the social norm, so it is hard for us who are conditioned otherwise to understand it. But don't you worry, I saw many benefits too. I was surprised at how many.
The world has a really negative view of Polygamy, and then there I was, welcomed into the homes of two very kind and loving families. I was proud to be positive about the way that you live. But my job is to show the whole picture, as I saw it. Not just the romantic version because we all got along so well.
I question why a woman would want to be Polygamous. Not because of indoctrination, or being manipulated. But because it is hard for me to imagine why anyone would want to share their husband. That is the question I wanted answered, and it confused me the entire time I was making the program. I am still not sure I understand it.
You will be surprised, Moroni. Everyone that has seen the program so far expected to dislike you. And absolutely everyone has been proved wrong.
I see cracks in your scenario, I find it difficult to understand why you want more children when supporting the ones you have isn't easy as it is. But I never have denied that I think you are a good man at heart, and although it isn't for me, Polygamy is no where near as terrible as the rest of the world thinks it is. My program shows that.
As for Diane in Centennial Park. Her interview was fascinating. She gave another angle, and one that we had to hear. Jealousy exists, there is no denying it. But it wasn't the whole focus of our film. Like I said, I think I showed it as exactly how it seemed for an on looker, and considering the pre-conceptions, I think we did you fair.
I like you very much Moroni. I don't make TV shows to upset and destroy people, but I do make them to show the rest of the world something they haven't seen before. Not everyone is always going to be happy. But the intentions are not to just do as the media has done before, but to discover the heart and reason as to why people chose alternatives to monogamy and conventional relationships. Whether I agree with it or not.
Pass on my regards to Martha and Temple. I know they do not look alike, and I also know you haven't got bucked teeth. But like I said, people will see that for themselves when they see the show.
I will continue to follow your news. I hope this email made you feel a little less in the dark.
I don't expect you to be over the moon with our portryal of you, but I do think it is honest, and will make most people swallow their words, and see Polygamy slightly more positively.
Dawn ( The not THAT goodlooking TV presenter) x xx
.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Response to "dp"
Someone named "dp" left a post, letting me know that they had sent me an email. I am kind of sure who "dp" is. I did not receive it.
I can be reached at:
essene70@yahoo.com
Anyway, I am sitting in Burger King in Safford, AZ, ready to make the five hour drive home.
Peace,
Moroni
I can be reached at:
essene70@yahoo.com
Anyway, I am sitting in Burger King in Safford, AZ, ready to make the five hour drive home.
Peace,
Moroni
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Thrash Metal Days
Response to someone's post about an incident at a club in Chandler, Arizona, circa 1986:
The incident at the King Diamond show was due to the opening band - Trouble.Trouble was a Chicago Christian metal band that Matt Moxey got me into.Don't aske me WHAT they were doing opening for King Diamond.
Trouble refused to pull their drumset for Pedifile. They also refused to let Pedifile use their drumset, because Pedifile were not "real musicians".There were about 75 of us who were there to specifically see Pedifle - including Steve and me, who couldn't be anymore than 16 years-old. I was totally psyched to jump into the mosh pit.
Because of Trouble, we would not be able to see Pedifile. We tried to get refunds on our tickets, but the venue would not refund us, because the name "Pedifile" did not appear on the tickets. Only "King Diamond" and "Trouble".
So... 75 fans set out to cause trouble for Trouble. We booed, turned our backs, sat on the floor - anything to give those assholes a hard time.After their set, King Diamond - makeup and all - came out and apologized to the Pedifile fans, and put on a great show.
I was proudly wearing a Pedifile shirt (Front: Pervert to little girl - "Hey Want a piece of candy?" Back: Thrash metal guys beating pervert with a bat; Little girl to pervert: "NOW I'll take a piece of candy!")Some of the Trouble guys and their roadies - all giant guys with big arms and big hair - singled me out of the crowd and started pushing me around, saying, "Hey, you were here with Pedifile!"Steve saw this and went to get my big brothers Tony and Carlos (then known as "Teddy"). The Trouble guys backed off, and they said, "You tell Pedifile that they will never tour with us!"
Like they wanted to tour with such a gay band!
If those guys (Pedifile) had stuck together, they would have made it.
.
The incident at the King Diamond show was due to the opening band - Trouble.Trouble was a Chicago Christian metal band that Matt Moxey got me into.Don't aske me WHAT they were doing opening for King Diamond.
Trouble refused to pull their drumset for Pedifile. They also refused to let Pedifile use their drumset, because Pedifile were not "real musicians".There were about 75 of us who were there to specifically see Pedifle - including Steve and me, who couldn't be anymore than 16 years-old. I was totally psyched to jump into the mosh pit.
Because of Trouble, we would not be able to see Pedifile. We tried to get refunds on our tickets, but the venue would not refund us, because the name "Pedifile" did not appear on the tickets. Only "King Diamond" and "Trouble".
So... 75 fans set out to cause trouble for Trouble. We booed, turned our backs, sat on the floor - anything to give those assholes a hard time.After their set, King Diamond - makeup and all - came out and apologized to the Pedifile fans, and put on a great show.
I was proudly wearing a Pedifile shirt (Front: Pervert to little girl - "Hey Want a piece of candy?" Back: Thrash metal guys beating pervert with a bat; Little girl to pervert: "NOW I'll take a piece of candy!")Some of the Trouble guys and their roadies - all giant guys with big arms and big hair - singled me out of the crowd and started pushing me around, saying, "Hey, you were here with Pedifile!"Steve saw this and went to get my big brothers Tony and Carlos (then known as "Teddy"). The Trouble guys backed off, and they said, "You tell Pedifile that they will never tour with us!"
Like they wanted to tour with such a gay band!
If those guys (Pedifile) had stuck together, they would have made it.
.
The Morning After
I had a little bit of time to sleep on it, and I am not as upset as I was yesterday.
Someone posted a response to my post and pointed out that Dawn actually had said a few things that were possitive about me and my family, as well.
So right now, I am in Duncan, Arizona, running the airbrush T-shirt stand at the Greenlee County Fair. Our booth was seated right next to "Vote Yes For Proposition 102" stand. They are trying to support a bill on the next election that would define marriage in the Arizona State Constitution as being between "One Man And One Woman". Mostly, they are opposing gay marriage. But they are also targeting polygamists with this legislation. It would basically put provisions in the constitution that would forever ban my type of relationship forever.
I found myself sitting behind my booth, glaring at these (mostly elderly and Mormon) people handed out stickers to the public that advertised taking away my rights (and the rights of gay people). I couldn't help but be a little resentful.
To top things off, they would look at me with disgust/ shock/ anger, also. But it wasn't because I am a polygamist. But because I wore a custom-made, airbrushed T-shirt that said "Official Member: Illuminatti". It has a guy on it with a barcode tattooed on his forehead with the numbers "666". What can I say? My fetish for all things Masonic.
I was tired when I left the fair, and I stayed at the house of a relative in Thatcher. I let him read Dawn's article. He didn't think it was that bad. He also pointed out that she had said alot of nice things about me and my family.
You know, I wasn't expecting Dawn to say only nice things about us. I really only object to two things in her article:
1. That we presented a false, "rose-tinged" image of ourselves.
2. That Martha & Temple lied about not being jealous and being happy
The truth was:
A. We were brutally honest. We had serious reservations about showing our home and the type of poverty we live in. We allowed them into our homes anyway. Warts and all. We answered even the tough questions honestly.
B. The girls DID tell Dawn that they experience jealousy from time to time. But that does not conclude that they are unhappy.
That is the great thing about my family - we live polygamy, and we are happy. I guess that is not what the public wants to see. Hank, on of the producers, kept going on about how "standard" we are. (Read: "boring")
I have been advised to reserve judgment until I see the program, and so I will. But I am growing very leery.
Simon Andrae won accolades for his show "The Miracle of Life". I cannot believe that he would follow it up with tabloid TV.
We'll see...
It is called "Dawn Porter: The Polygamist's Wife", and it airs on Channel 4 on October 21 at 10PM.
I don't think that Dawn understands the fear that motivated us to do this show to begin with. We were already falling under negative public scrutiny, and doing this program seemed to be a good way to counteract this and to say what we felt needed to be said in a forum that would be a little friendlier to us.
It would be ironic if this program wound up biting us in the ass. Then there really would be no hope in the world.
I wonder if the folks at Incubator TV realize that I have estranged myself from the polygamist world for violating one of our unspoken taboos - going to the media.
There are so many people out there who think I was foolish and made a mistake.
Do you realize how humiliating it would be to look them in the eye and admit that they were right all along???
Moroni
Someone posted a response to my post and pointed out that Dawn actually had said a few things that were possitive about me and my family, as well.
So right now, I am in Duncan, Arizona, running the airbrush T-shirt stand at the Greenlee County Fair. Our booth was seated right next to "Vote Yes For Proposition 102" stand. They are trying to support a bill on the next election that would define marriage in the Arizona State Constitution as being between "One Man And One Woman". Mostly, they are opposing gay marriage. But they are also targeting polygamists with this legislation. It would basically put provisions in the constitution that would forever ban my type of relationship forever.
I found myself sitting behind my booth, glaring at these (mostly elderly and Mormon) people handed out stickers to the public that advertised taking away my rights (and the rights of gay people). I couldn't help but be a little resentful.
To top things off, they would look at me with disgust/ shock/ anger, also. But it wasn't because I am a polygamist. But because I wore a custom-made, airbrushed T-shirt that said "Official Member: Illuminatti". It has a guy on it with a barcode tattooed on his forehead with the numbers "666". What can I say? My fetish for all things Masonic.
I was tired when I left the fair, and I stayed at the house of a relative in Thatcher. I let him read Dawn's article. He didn't think it was that bad. He also pointed out that she had said alot of nice things about me and my family.
You know, I wasn't expecting Dawn to say only nice things about us. I really only object to two things in her article:
1. That we presented a false, "rose-tinged" image of ourselves.
2. That Martha & Temple lied about not being jealous and being happy
The truth was:
A. We were brutally honest. We had serious reservations about showing our home and the type of poverty we live in. We allowed them into our homes anyway. Warts and all. We answered even the tough questions honestly.
B. The girls DID tell Dawn that they experience jealousy from time to time. But that does not conclude that they are unhappy.
That is the great thing about my family - we live polygamy, and we are happy. I guess that is not what the public wants to see. Hank, on of the producers, kept going on about how "standard" we are. (Read: "boring")
I have been advised to reserve judgment until I see the program, and so I will. But I am growing very leery.
Simon Andrae won accolades for his show "The Miracle of Life". I cannot believe that he would follow it up with tabloid TV.
We'll see...
It is called "Dawn Porter: The Polygamist's Wife", and it airs on Channel 4 on October 21 at 10PM.
I don't think that Dawn understands the fear that motivated us to do this show to begin with. We were already falling under negative public scrutiny, and doing this program seemed to be a good way to counteract this and to say what we felt needed to be said in a forum that would be a little friendlier to us.
It would be ironic if this program wound up biting us in the ass. Then there really would be no hope in the world.
I wonder if the folks at Incubator TV realize that I have estranged myself from the polygamist world for violating one of our unspoken taboos - going to the media.
There are so many people out there who think I was foolish and made a mistake.
Do you realize how humiliating it would be to look them in the eye and admit that they were right all along???
Moroni
Saturday, September 20, 2008
My Response to Dawn's Article
First of all, I must say that I am NOT HAPPY about Dawn's article.
When I was first approached by Incubator TV, all of the producers - Kirsten Fenswick (whom I adore), Simon Andrae (whom I am learning to distrust), Hank Stepleton & Charlie (whom I respect) and finally Dawn Porter herself (whom I now distrust) - they told me the same thing.
They wanted to do an "honest" approach to polygamy. They wanted to show polygamy as a valid alternative lifestyle.
I believed them.
Everyone told me not to trust them, but I was convinced that they were telling me the truth.
Dawn's article shows me that this was NOT their aim. She strains in belief that Martha and Temple might actually WANT this situation. She portrays them as mindless Stepford Wives who accept their situation unquestioningly, and then she makes me look like a womanizing asshole.
Well, let me tell you, Dawn, the damage that you have done to the polygamy world. We withdrew from our homes to let you into our world, because so often the world does not try to understand us. We came out of the obscurity, because you promised a fair portrayal. You found two happy wives and still didn't find what you were looking for. So you searched until you found an unhappy wife and were pleased with yourself so that you could invalidate everything we believe in and stand for and so that you can show the world how "unhappy" polygamists are.
NOT fair at all, and just the same shitty tabloid journalism that has been done about our people all along.
I will never trust the media again, thanks to you, Dawn Porter.
Here are some of my observations about the article:
1. The whole scenario where I come home from work, dejected that some prospective wife turned me down - all bullshit. I haven't tried to court ANYONE for at least 3 years. But Dawn Porter just "happened" to be at my home for just such an event? Yeah, right.
2. Her reports of "thousands of members of the Mormon sect" that practice polygamy - did she even do her homework? She probably does not even realize that my family does not belong to any sect, and that we are what is termed "Independent Mormon Fundamentalists."
3. Temple is pissed that she was called a "Martha look-alike". If she really took the time to get to know them, she would have realized that they are totally different people with opposite personalities. As well as physically. Martha is Asian. Temple is German. Martha is tall; Temple is short, etc.
4. Martha and I made the decision TOGETHER to enter the principle before we got married. It wasn't something that I decided by myself. Dawn makes it look like I drug her into this.
5. Dawn thinks that she is the first journalist to interview polygamists? LOL Come on! I am also the first polygamist to live in Arizona.
6. "Instead, I am greeted by a man who is articulate, intelligent and softly spoken. True, physically speaking Moroni - named after a Mormon god - is hardly a catch.
"Overweight, buck-toothed and with a wispy goatee, I can't imagine him inciting passion or jealousy.
"But this construction worker is softly spoken and considerate, and it becomes clear that both wives adore him, as do the ever-present crowd of children. "
Ouch! First of all:
a. Moroni is an angel, not a god.
b. I am not buck-toothed.
c. Is it hard to believe that someone as ugly as me could have two women love me?
d. Dawn is attractive in a normal sort of way, but she is not THAT attractive. How could
someone as plain as her be a TV presenter?
7. I DID say that I would probably cheat if it wasn't a polygamist, not because I am an adulterer, but to make commentary on the nature of men.
8. I never said anything about kissing my wives throughout the day to keep the jealousy at bay. That was a total fabrication.
9. I have never said that my search for other wives was a quest to find "The One". Those are just not words that fit my vocabulary. As Temple pointed out, I do not have "One", I have "Two".
10. We are too Little House on the Prairie?? You are too Benny Hill, Dawn.
11. Dawn never slept on our couch. She slept at the Holiday Inn. The sleeping-on-our-couch schtick was a gimmic for the camera.
Thanks for taking our hospitality and making a mockery of it. Temple told me this morning that she knew you were lying when you told her how much you loved it where we lived and then you went onto your blog and wrote about how miserable you were.
When I was first approached by Incubator TV, all of the producers - Kirsten Fenswick (whom I adore), Simon Andrae (whom I am learning to distrust), Hank Stepleton & Charlie (whom I respect) and finally Dawn Porter herself (whom I now distrust) - they told me the same thing.
They wanted to do an "honest" approach to polygamy. They wanted to show polygamy as a valid alternative lifestyle.
I believed them.
Everyone told me not to trust them, but I was convinced that they were telling me the truth.
Dawn's article shows me that this was NOT their aim. She strains in belief that Martha and Temple might actually WANT this situation. She portrays them as mindless Stepford Wives who accept their situation unquestioningly, and then she makes me look like a womanizing asshole.
Well, let me tell you, Dawn, the damage that you have done to the polygamy world. We withdrew from our homes to let you into our world, because so often the world does not try to understand us. We came out of the obscurity, because you promised a fair portrayal. You found two happy wives and still didn't find what you were looking for. So you searched until you found an unhappy wife and were pleased with yourself so that you could invalidate everything we believe in and stand for and so that you can show the world how "unhappy" polygamists are.
NOT fair at all, and just the same shitty tabloid journalism that has been done about our people all along.
I will never trust the media again, thanks to you, Dawn Porter.
Here are some of my observations about the article:
1. The whole scenario where I come home from work, dejected that some prospective wife turned me down - all bullshit. I haven't tried to court ANYONE for at least 3 years. But Dawn Porter just "happened" to be at my home for just such an event? Yeah, right.
2. Her reports of "thousands of members of the Mormon sect" that practice polygamy - did she even do her homework? She probably does not even realize that my family does not belong to any sect, and that we are what is termed "Independent Mormon Fundamentalists."
3. Temple is pissed that she was called a "Martha look-alike". If she really took the time to get to know them, she would have realized that they are totally different people with opposite personalities. As well as physically. Martha is Asian. Temple is German. Martha is tall; Temple is short, etc.
4. Martha and I made the decision TOGETHER to enter the principle before we got married. It wasn't something that I decided by myself. Dawn makes it look like I drug her into this.
5. Dawn thinks that she is the first journalist to interview polygamists? LOL Come on! I am also the first polygamist to live in Arizona.
6. "Instead, I am greeted by a man who is articulate, intelligent and softly spoken. True, physically speaking Moroni - named after a Mormon god - is hardly a catch.
"Overweight, buck-toothed and with a wispy goatee, I can't imagine him inciting passion or jealousy.
"But this construction worker is softly spoken and considerate, and it becomes clear that both wives adore him, as do the ever-present crowd of children. "
Ouch! First of all:
a. Moroni is an angel, not a god.
b. I am not buck-toothed.
c. Is it hard to believe that someone as ugly as me could have two women love me?
d. Dawn is attractive in a normal sort of way, but she is not THAT attractive. How could
someone as plain as her be a TV presenter?
7. I DID say that I would probably cheat if it wasn't a polygamist, not because I am an adulterer, but to make commentary on the nature of men.
8. I never said anything about kissing my wives throughout the day to keep the jealousy at bay. That was a total fabrication.
9. I have never said that my search for other wives was a quest to find "The One". Those are just not words that fit my vocabulary. As Temple pointed out, I do not have "One", I have "Two".
10. We are too Little House on the Prairie?? You are too Benny Hill, Dawn.
11. Dawn never slept on our couch. She slept at the Holiday Inn. The sleeping-on-our-couch schtick was a gimmic for the camera.
Thanks for taking our hospitality and making a mockery of it. Temple told me this morning that she knew you were lying when you told her how much you loved it where we lived and then you went onto your blog and wrote about how miserable you were.
Dawn's Article... Boy, Has She Made My Girls Pissed!!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1057865/Polygamy-uncovered-Whats-really-like-women-share-husband.html
FYI, I WILL be responding to this, and I am NOT happy. My girl's will also respond to this unresearched piece of tripe.
Moroni
Polygamy uncovered: What's it really like for the women who have to share a husband?
By Dawn Porter
Last updated at 1:00 AM on 19th September 2008* commentsComments (69)*
For decades, the domestic lives of American polygamists have remained secretive and closely guarded. But for a new TV documentary, presenter Dawn Porter was given access to two polygamous families, who both sought to present rose-tinted images of harmonious, contented communities. But when she scratched beneath the surface, what she found was a very different picture - of resentment, jealousy and bitterness.. .
Dawn PorterDocumentary- maker Dawn Porter discovered jealousy and seething resentments when she stayed with two polygamous familiesAt first glance, it is a scene of utterly normal domestic chaos. There's washing to be done, the children are running around outside, and Dad has come home from work in a terrible mood.Martha has her arm around her husband Moroni and is clucking like an indulgent hen as she tries to coax him into a better temper. Buxom, amiable and in her mid-30s, she is every inch the average housewife and mother.At least she is until I glance to Moroni's right, and see the second woman who is trying to placate him. Temple - in her late 20s - is Moroni's 'other' wife.These two women share their lives, their home and their beds with the same husband, bound together by their polygamist marriages.And, incredibly, the reason for Moroni's mood - he is sitting slumped, head in hands - is that he has been dumped by the woman he hoped would become wife number three.He moans 'I've been heartbroken more times than I care to admit', which sparks a fresh wave of sympathetic noises from both his wives.Not only are they happy to share this paunchy man, but they are also happy to help him pick a third wife. Finally, their coaxing seems to ease Moroni's mood.'We'll find someone who will fit in perfectly,' Martha purrs soothingly, as if her husband were about to select a new set of curtains. 'This one obviously just wasn’t right…'So why do I find myself here - deep in rural Arizona, meeting two wives who bizarrely claim that it is they who do the exploiting, rather than the husband who moves between their beds virtually every other night of the week?I was asked by a TV production company to fly around the world investigating the extraordinary relationships that women choose in the name of love.So what should we make of polygamy, which is still practised by thousands of members of the Mormon sect? Can it really bring the kind of mutual support and sense of community that its protagonists claim?Or is it simply a throwback to a time when a man dragged a woman back to his cave if he liked the look of her?To find out, I travelled to Arizona, where 15 years ago Moroni Jessop married Martha. It was love for both of them - and a traditional wedding.Except that when this blushing virgin bride was making her vows, she already knew that within a few short years her husband would be looking elsewhere for another fresh-faced 'bride'.So keen to accept this arrangement was Martha, now 35, that when Moroni announced it was time for another partner, she helped him to search.The result was 'bride' number two, Temple, 27 - a Martha lookalike with straight dark hair, eager smile and thick glasses.Polygamy is outlawed in America, but many polygamists live in rural backwaters. They flout the law by marrying their first wives in a traditional service and then exchanging vows with further 'wives' in spiritual ceremonies.Until now, their lives have been shrouded in mystery. I am one of the first journalists ever to be invited into the homes, and lives, of polygamist families.Dawn PorterDawn PorterDawn PorterThree's a crowd: (From left) Nancy, Ruth and Diane are all married to the same manAs I approach the humble three bedroom home where the husband, two wives and assorted offspring live, I expect to meet a dominant male who plays off the insecurities of his wives to brutal effect - demanding sex with whichever wife is in favour, and impregnating them like some kind of stud bull (the women have nine children between them, and Temple is pregnant again).Instead, I am greeted by a man who is articulate, intelligent and softly spoken. True, physically speaking Moroni - named after a Mormon god - is hardly a catch.Overweight, buck-toothed and with a wispy goatee, I can't imagine him inciting passion or jealousy.But this construction worker is softly spoken and considerate, and it becomes clear that both wives adore him, as do the ever-present crowd of children.Both wives listen to him with rapt attention as he explains that the purpose of polygamy is for one man to produce as large a clan as possible.When Moroni complains that life for a polygamist husband is hard, incredibly his wives sympathise.He says: 'It takes a lot of work and patience to deal with the emotions of more than one wife. When I became a polygamist with my second marriage, I did not have a good time at all.'There were so many demands on me and it seemed that both of my wives were always angry with me.'I would get home from work and park on the driveway, and then just sit in the car thinking: "OK, which one is going to be mad at me now?"'I don't know exactly how it changed, or when, but a year later I was in the living room lying on the couch and Martha and Temple were in the kitchen playing Scrabble together and laughing. I realised then that I was happy.'My children and my wives are the purpose of my existence. Other men might go out and have affairs and then leave wife number one to go and marry wife number two. But I have made a real commitment to both of my wives.'I can't help asking the question: if Moroni had been in a normal, monogamous marriage to Martha, would he have been unfaithful?He pauses and then gulps. 'Er, yes, I probably would have been unfaithful.'So there we are - perhaps this lifestyle is simply an adulterer's refuge, for while the wives are busy making the home, Moroni is out there making whoopee in his search for a third spouse.Dawn PorterExploitation: Dawn (front left) with Boyd’s three wives Nancy and Diane (back row left) and Ruth (back row far right) and his childrenHe says sadly: 'I can't seem to find The One. I've made a few mistakes, and when things don't work out and I've had my feelings hurt I mope around. Then finally Temple says "Just get over it" when she's had enough of my moods, and I'm forced to snap out of it.'I watched as both wives - make-up free and wearing modest jeans and T-shirts - prepare dinner for their husband and his nine offspring. Each wife has her own bedroom, and the children sleep with their mothers or share a third bedroom.Martha insists it's the wives who decide who will have their husband that night.She tells me: 'We don't get jealous. We know that he loves us both equally and there's room for a third wife. Having her in the house won't mean that he loves us less.'So how does the household actually work? The first night I sleep on the couch, but before bedtime I watch as the children dutifully kiss their parents goodnight.Then Moroni gets up to retire, and after whispering with both wives he disappears into Martha's room.Temple - pregnant and tired, looks relieved. Meanwhile, I am left to sleep. So many women - myself included - joke that what every woman needs is a wife and while Moroni is out at work, Martha and Temple share the childcare, the cooking and household chores, and enjoy what seems to be a real friendship.If one has a row with Moroni, she can turn to the other 'wife' for support. But it makes me feel slightly nauseous to watch one wife lead the husband to a bedroom, while the other sleeps alone.The next morning, Moroni once again tries to convince me that this is tough for him.He complains: 'There are times when sex becomes a chore, because I'm trying to keep two women satisfied. I always try to be fair, and I tend to just go from Martha's room to Temple's room alternately. 'But are these women not consumed with jealousy? He shrugs. 'Sometimes there is awkwardness. I try to reassure them that I love them both by kissing them throughout the day.'This is starting to sound like a warped version of Little House On The Prairie. I bid my goodbyes and leave - both wives smiling by Moroni's side as they wave farewell.My next stop is Centennial Park, deep in the Arizona desert, a community of fundamental Mormons who still practise polygamy.Here, they live an affluent lifestyle - and I draw up to the gated mansion where a wealthy businessman in his 60s lives with his three wives and 16 children.Boyd is away on business, but I am greeted instead by two of his wives. Nancy became Boyd's second wife 17 years after he married childhood sweetheart Diane.Shortly afterwards he married again - to third wife Ruth. It is like walking onto the set of The Stepford Wives.Ruth and Nancy show me the enormous kitchen, the ornate dining table, the immaculate reception room and the television room.Upstairs are ten bedrooms - including one for each wife, and a separate bedroom for Boyd.Ruth - a blonde, Meryl Streep lookalike - tells me that she has 'eight beautiful children'.The remaining eight are between the other wives, but she can't actually remember how many are boys or how many are girls.We discuss marriage. I tell her that I dream about my own wedding day - walking down the aisle with the man I love, with our family and friends watching. It will be my day, so how would it feel to have another wife sitting in the front aisle, beaming as I marry her husband?Ruth shrugs. 'Everyone has this rose-tinted view of marriage. I accepted Boyd's first two wives as part of the package. If I wanted him in my life, they were both going to be part of it too.'In so many marriages, men just tire of their wives after a few years, so they get divorced, move on and marry again, until that first flush of love also disappears and they move on again.'So what is wrong with a man being able to have variety and a woman having friendship and learning to share?'Surely it is better for a man to stay with several wives and raise his children, and for them to be the main part of his life, rather than couples who simply divorce and leave their children with no family stability.'I don't know why the world looks down on polygamy when family and love are the most important things in our life.'Ruth certainly seems happy enough and later, as I watch her and Nancy prepare the dinner for 16 children, I'm amazed at the calm.Both wives chat happily as they share the cooking, and the children - aged from 14 to two years old - treat both equally as their mothers.Nancy - wife number two - explains that she was raised in a polygamous family.She says: 'I was free to choose if that was what I wanted for myself, and I really thought about it when I was a teenager.'I had four mothers and 40 siblings, but I could have chosen to just marry one man who was going to be monogamous.'In the end, Nancy's religious convictions won through - she believes the polygamist ethos that somehow sharing her husband will make her a god or goddess in a second life.Well, I guess you would need a pretty good reason to share your husband sexually with two other women. She and Ruth claim that there is no jealousy or awkwardness between them.But as evening approaches, Boyd's first wife Diane is still nowhere to be seen, and I start to wonder if this woman, who enjoyed her husband to herself for 17 years, until she started to lose her youth and her looks, might have a different story to tell.When I meet Diane, she strikes me as kind but a little withdrawn. She is 63 now, and tells me she raised her children with Boyd as man and wife until suddenly he announced that he wanted to take a second wife.Thoughthey were both Mormons, after all those years together she had felt that their marriage was strong and happy and that he would feel no need to seek physical satisfaction with another wife.His decision - taken just as Diane was losing her youth and her looks - was utterly devastating to her.For more than a decade, she has not discussed her feelings with anyone. Now she sits trembling beside me and I realise that at last the shiny facade of polygamy is being stripped away before my eyes.She speaks softly. 'I was married for 17 years, and it was really tough when Nancy came along. I don't agree when people claim that there is no jealousy, because that's not what happened to me.'I'd walk into my living room and my husband would have his arm around her, and my heart would start to pound. I would think to myself: "Gosh, why did you have to walk in now and see that.'' 'It was a bitterness she has lived with for 15 years - swallowing her emotions as an even younger third wife was welcomed into the house as Boyd's latest plaything.I find it hard to imagine the pain of this woman as she watched her husband impregnate his younger wives time and time again.Diane tells me softly that she has suffered depression for those 15 years. It was only three years ago - when she faced a near-terminal illness - that the bitterness began to fade.She says: 'I became really sick and the other wives nursed me. Somehow, and I don't know how or why, my animosity towards those two girls ebbed away.'I leave her wringing her hands in miserable silence. Diane's unhappiness is overwhelming.She is the only wife of the five I have met who is honest enough to admit that jealousy, despair and depression are the inevitable fallout when a man finds the excuse to take two or three wives and share them all sexually and emotionally.My journey into the lives - and many loves - of a polygamist is over. The beaming children, the adoring wives and the homespun philosophy of sharing and love are the images they were keen to portray.But it's the memory of the lonely, elderly woman forced to sit to one side as her husband cavorts with her younger rivals which haunts me.
FYI, I WILL be responding to this, and I am NOT happy. My girl's will also respond to this unresearched piece of tripe.
Moroni
Polygamy uncovered: What's it really like for the women who have to share a husband?
By Dawn Porter
Last updated at 1:00 AM on 19th September 2008* commentsComments (69)*
For decades, the domestic lives of American polygamists have remained secretive and closely guarded. But for a new TV documentary, presenter Dawn Porter was given access to two polygamous families, who both sought to present rose-tinted images of harmonious, contented communities. But when she scratched beneath the surface, what she found was a very different picture - of resentment, jealousy and bitterness.. .
Dawn PorterDocumentary- maker Dawn Porter discovered jealousy and seething resentments when she stayed with two polygamous familiesAt first glance, it is a scene of utterly normal domestic chaos. There's washing to be done, the children are running around outside, and Dad has come home from work in a terrible mood.Martha has her arm around her husband Moroni and is clucking like an indulgent hen as she tries to coax him into a better temper. Buxom, amiable and in her mid-30s, she is every inch the average housewife and mother.At least she is until I glance to Moroni's right, and see the second woman who is trying to placate him. Temple - in her late 20s - is Moroni's 'other' wife.These two women share their lives, their home and their beds with the same husband, bound together by their polygamist marriages.And, incredibly, the reason for Moroni's mood - he is sitting slumped, head in hands - is that he has been dumped by the woman he hoped would become wife number three.He moans 'I've been heartbroken more times than I care to admit', which sparks a fresh wave of sympathetic noises from both his wives.Not only are they happy to share this paunchy man, but they are also happy to help him pick a third wife. Finally, their coaxing seems to ease Moroni's mood.'We'll find someone who will fit in perfectly,' Martha purrs soothingly, as if her husband were about to select a new set of curtains. 'This one obviously just wasn’t right…'So why do I find myself here - deep in rural Arizona, meeting two wives who bizarrely claim that it is they who do the exploiting, rather than the husband who moves between their beds virtually every other night of the week?I was asked by a TV production company to fly around the world investigating the extraordinary relationships that women choose in the name of love.So what should we make of polygamy, which is still practised by thousands of members of the Mormon sect? Can it really bring the kind of mutual support and sense of community that its protagonists claim?Or is it simply a throwback to a time when a man dragged a woman back to his cave if he liked the look of her?To find out, I travelled to Arizona, where 15 years ago Moroni Jessop married Martha. It was love for both of them - and a traditional wedding.Except that when this blushing virgin bride was making her vows, she already knew that within a few short years her husband would be looking elsewhere for another fresh-faced 'bride'.So keen to accept this arrangement was Martha, now 35, that when Moroni announced it was time for another partner, she helped him to search.The result was 'bride' number two, Temple, 27 - a Martha lookalike with straight dark hair, eager smile and thick glasses.Polygamy is outlawed in America, but many polygamists live in rural backwaters. They flout the law by marrying their first wives in a traditional service and then exchanging vows with further 'wives' in spiritual ceremonies.Until now, their lives have been shrouded in mystery. I am one of the first journalists ever to be invited into the homes, and lives, of polygamist families.Dawn PorterDawn PorterDawn PorterThree's a crowd: (From left) Nancy, Ruth and Diane are all married to the same manAs I approach the humble three bedroom home where the husband, two wives and assorted offspring live, I expect to meet a dominant male who plays off the insecurities of his wives to brutal effect - demanding sex with whichever wife is in favour, and impregnating them like some kind of stud bull (the women have nine children between them, and Temple is pregnant again).Instead, I am greeted by a man who is articulate, intelligent and softly spoken. True, physically speaking Moroni - named after a Mormon god - is hardly a catch.Overweight, buck-toothed and with a wispy goatee, I can't imagine him inciting passion or jealousy.But this construction worker is softly spoken and considerate, and it becomes clear that both wives adore him, as do the ever-present crowd of children.Both wives listen to him with rapt attention as he explains that the purpose of polygamy is for one man to produce as large a clan as possible.When Moroni complains that life for a polygamist husband is hard, incredibly his wives sympathise.He says: 'It takes a lot of work and patience to deal with the emotions of more than one wife. When I became a polygamist with my second marriage, I did not have a good time at all.'There were so many demands on me and it seemed that both of my wives were always angry with me.'I would get home from work and park on the driveway, and then just sit in the car thinking: "OK, which one is going to be mad at me now?"'I don't know exactly how it changed, or when, but a year later I was in the living room lying on the couch and Martha and Temple were in the kitchen playing Scrabble together and laughing. I realised then that I was happy.'My children and my wives are the purpose of my existence. Other men might go out and have affairs and then leave wife number one to go and marry wife number two. But I have made a real commitment to both of my wives.'I can't help asking the question: if Moroni had been in a normal, monogamous marriage to Martha, would he have been unfaithful?He pauses and then gulps. 'Er, yes, I probably would have been unfaithful.'So there we are - perhaps this lifestyle is simply an adulterer's refuge, for while the wives are busy making the home, Moroni is out there making whoopee in his search for a third spouse.Dawn PorterExploitation: Dawn (front left) with Boyd’s three wives Nancy and Diane (back row left) and Ruth (back row far right) and his childrenHe says sadly: 'I can't seem to find The One. I've made a few mistakes, and when things don't work out and I've had my feelings hurt I mope around. Then finally Temple says "Just get over it" when she's had enough of my moods, and I'm forced to snap out of it.'I watched as both wives - make-up free and wearing modest jeans and T-shirts - prepare dinner for their husband and his nine offspring. Each wife has her own bedroom, and the children sleep with their mothers or share a third bedroom.Martha insists it's the wives who decide who will have their husband that night.She tells me: 'We don't get jealous. We know that he loves us both equally and there's room for a third wife. Having her in the house won't mean that he loves us less.'So how does the household actually work? The first night I sleep on the couch, but before bedtime I watch as the children dutifully kiss their parents goodnight.Then Moroni gets up to retire, and after whispering with both wives he disappears into Martha's room.Temple - pregnant and tired, looks relieved. Meanwhile, I am left to sleep. So many women - myself included - joke that what every woman needs is a wife and while Moroni is out at work, Martha and Temple share the childcare, the cooking and household chores, and enjoy what seems to be a real friendship.If one has a row with Moroni, she can turn to the other 'wife' for support. But it makes me feel slightly nauseous to watch one wife lead the husband to a bedroom, while the other sleeps alone.The next morning, Moroni once again tries to convince me that this is tough for him.He complains: 'There are times when sex becomes a chore, because I'm trying to keep two women satisfied. I always try to be fair, and I tend to just go from Martha's room to Temple's room alternately. 'But are these women not consumed with jealousy? He shrugs. 'Sometimes there is awkwardness. I try to reassure them that I love them both by kissing them throughout the day.'This is starting to sound like a warped version of Little House On The Prairie. I bid my goodbyes and leave - both wives smiling by Moroni's side as they wave farewell.My next stop is Centennial Park, deep in the Arizona desert, a community of fundamental Mormons who still practise polygamy.Here, they live an affluent lifestyle - and I draw up to the gated mansion where a wealthy businessman in his 60s lives with his three wives and 16 children.Boyd is away on business, but I am greeted instead by two of his wives. Nancy became Boyd's second wife 17 years after he married childhood sweetheart Diane.Shortly afterwards he married again - to third wife Ruth. It is like walking onto the set of The Stepford Wives.Ruth and Nancy show me the enormous kitchen, the ornate dining table, the immaculate reception room and the television room.Upstairs are ten bedrooms - including one for each wife, and a separate bedroom for Boyd.Ruth - a blonde, Meryl Streep lookalike - tells me that she has 'eight beautiful children'.The remaining eight are between the other wives, but she can't actually remember how many are boys or how many are girls.We discuss marriage. I tell her that I dream about my own wedding day - walking down the aisle with the man I love, with our family and friends watching. It will be my day, so how would it feel to have another wife sitting in the front aisle, beaming as I marry her husband?Ruth shrugs. 'Everyone has this rose-tinted view of marriage. I accepted Boyd's first two wives as part of the package. If I wanted him in my life, they were both going to be part of it too.'In so many marriages, men just tire of their wives after a few years, so they get divorced, move on and marry again, until that first flush of love also disappears and they move on again.'So what is wrong with a man being able to have variety and a woman having friendship and learning to share?'Surely it is better for a man to stay with several wives and raise his children, and for them to be the main part of his life, rather than couples who simply divorce and leave their children with no family stability.'I don't know why the world looks down on polygamy when family and love are the most important things in our life.'Ruth certainly seems happy enough and later, as I watch her and Nancy prepare the dinner for 16 children, I'm amazed at the calm.Both wives chat happily as they share the cooking, and the children - aged from 14 to two years old - treat both equally as their mothers.Nancy - wife number two - explains that she was raised in a polygamous family.She says: 'I was free to choose if that was what I wanted for myself, and I really thought about it when I was a teenager.'I had four mothers and 40 siblings, but I could have chosen to just marry one man who was going to be monogamous.'In the end, Nancy's religious convictions won through - she believes the polygamist ethos that somehow sharing her husband will make her a god or goddess in a second life.Well, I guess you would need a pretty good reason to share your husband sexually with two other women. She and Ruth claim that there is no jealousy or awkwardness between them.But as evening approaches, Boyd's first wife Diane is still nowhere to be seen, and I start to wonder if this woman, who enjoyed her husband to herself for 17 years, until she started to lose her youth and her looks, might have a different story to tell.When I meet Diane, she strikes me as kind but a little withdrawn. She is 63 now, and tells me she raised her children with Boyd as man and wife until suddenly he announced that he wanted to take a second wife.Thoughthey were both Mormons, after all those years together she had felt that their marriage was strong and happy and that he would feel no need to seek physical satisfaction with another wife.His decision - taken just as Diane was losing her youth and her looks - was utterly devastating to her.For more than a decade, she has not discussed her feelings with anyone. Now she sits trembling beside me and I realise that at last the shiny facade of polygamy is being stripped away before my eyes.She speaks softly. 'I was married for 17 years, and it was really tough when Nancy came along. I don't agree when people claim that there is no jealousy, because that's not what happened to me.'I'd walk into my living room and my husband would have his arm around her, and my heart would start to pound. I would think to myself: "Gosh, why did you have to walk in now and see that.'' 'It was a bitterness she has lived with for 15 years - swallowing her emotions as an even younger third wife was welcomed into the house as Boyd's latest plaything.I find it hard to imagine the pain of this woman as she watched her husband impregnate his younger wives time and time again.Diane tells me softly that she has suffered depression for those 15 years. It was only three years ago - when she faced a near-terminal illness - that the bitterness began to fade.She says: 'I became really sick and the other wives nursed me. Somehow, and I don't know how or why, my animosity towards those two girls ebbed away.'I leave her wringing her hands in miserable silence. Diane's unhappiness is overwhelming.She is the only wife of the five I have met who is honest enough to admit that jealousy, despair and depression are the inevitable fallout when a man finds the excuse to take two or three wives and share them all sexually and emotionally.My journey into the lives - and many loves - of a polygamist is over. The beaming children, the adoring wives and the homespun philosophy of sharing and love are the images they were keen to portray.But it's the memory of the lonely, elderly woman forced to sit to one side as her husband cavorts with her younger rivals which haunts me.
Monday, September 15, 2008
The Polygamist "Carnie"
So I took a temporary job with my brother-in-law Joe. He is an airbrush artist (and a damn good one.) He has decided to due the fair/ carnival circuit and asked me to take orders while he does his art.
It has been fun. I like being a "carnie". It is fun work, I like being with people and it is different to work with young people who describe Joe's work as "tight" or "sick".
This is an example of a shirt that I had Joe did for me. It is a statement that I agree with very much. It expresses my views especially in regard to the anti-polygamy laws, and we have so many unjust laws in our country. I think it is our responsibility as freedom-loving Americans to disregard any laws that violate our liberty. And we have laws that far surpass any tyrannical laws that the British ever imposed on us.
But I digress...
First we did the Coconino County Fair in Flagstaff. Then we moved to the Utah State Fair, which just ended yesterday. It was busy. I worked 12 to 13 hour days, so I have not had much time to enjoy my old stomping grounds of Salt Lake City. I used to live here 15 years ago.
I kept wondering if I would see anyone from my days of hanging around with Utah polygamists back then, but I saw very few people. I saw a polygamist widow that I knew from back then. She did not say anything to me, and I did not say anything to her. What do you say to someone that was an acquaintance from that long ago? I don't even think she recognized me.
Then there was the polygamist man who knows me and saw me, but - for a reason unknown to me - he hates my family. See, polygamists can be just as petty as other people. I debated on whether or not to say hi to him as he stood a few feet off, ignoring me. I knew that he did not like me, but I decided that the "Christian" thing to do would be to greet him. I gave him no choice to acknowledge me, but even then he barely even looked at me. How can I respect someone who shows no respect for me?? I hope he reads this so he knows how petty I think he is.
The fair ended last night, and I checked my email for the first time in a week. I saw that, on YouTube, there is a trailer for "Dawn Porter: Extreme Wife". It airs on September 30. I know I posted the link, but here it is again:
I watched it and was amazed at how stupid that one sentence sounded. "I am a natural polygamist, because I love women soooo much." How gay is that?? Temple thought that I sounded like a womanizer and immediately assumed that they are going to do a hack job on us.
I am trying to think back to what I was talking about. I was talking about how I consider myself a feminist, because I adore everything female. The Sacred Feminine. Stuff like that. But why does the media always have to capture me saying dumb things??
And is my face really that fat???? I looked like an old cholo gang-banger, right out of the joint.
I talked to a good friend in Australia who watched an episode of Dawn Porter's "Super Slim Me." She said that she was very impressed by Dawn and her reporting style. She things the episode will turn out good.
There was a blog post that turned out some decent comments from Dawn:
"The new series, Extreme Wife, in Dawn's words us a look "at issues that women face on a day-to-day basis through extreme situations" These situations are a visit to Japan to become a Geisha. "I felt like a giant pleb with all these beautiful, delicate Geisha women which I was just this guffawing Westerner," said Dawn. On top of that, she looks at the tricky subject of free-love in a hippie commune, mail-order brides and polygamous relationships in the US.
"Through these, she's able to look at some of the more extreme ways that women look for love. Looking back at the mail-order brides in Russia, Dawn told of how she saw the most "predatory instincts of men" come to the fore. Surprisingly, after meeting the American Mormons, she found the experience positive: "Even though there was a lot I couldn't understand, or agree with, it turned out to be one of the most uplifting experiences of them all."
On a sadder note, I am currently sitting in the lobby of the Primary Children's hospital in Salt Lake City with my family. My nephew Jonah passed away this afternoon. He was born on September 5.
Fat Guy Says: "I'm A Natural Polygamist Because I Love Women So Much."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwL90aiMLq0
Here is the trailer for Extreme Wife airing September 30.
Moroni
Here is the trailer for Extreme Wife airing September 30.
Moroni
Friday, September 5, 2008
Hank Rules!! *Moroni Makes Devil Sign With Hand*
I just drove all night. It was a last minute request. A friend has an urgent meeting in Los Angeles and last night asked me to drive him in his car so that he could have the proverbial bright eye and mythical bushy tail upon arrival.
So I drove all night, eating pistachios to keep me awake. I experienced the longest rush hour of my life (from Riverside to LA). (How do you people do it?) I checked into the Marriott. (Checked to see if the Book of Mormon was in the dresser drawer. It was.)
I called Hank to see if he was at the Incubator office, thinking maybe I would take a cab to Hollywood and meet him and possibly the mysterious Simon. But it is Friday afternoon; they are heading out. But Hank did give me some news:
1. There are talks about airing Extreme Wife in the States - maybe.
2. "Rites of Passion/ Strange History" - due to air in January.
3. He will try to get me copies once they air.
4. He says that Charlie has been reading my blog. (You rock, Charlie!)
Hank is one awesome dude.
Here are some other tidbits from my life:
1. I went to the library. I saw on the "new book" section another anti-polygamy rant. They are now becoming prolific like Nancy Drew books - and ghostwritten, all of them.
2. I decided that it is time for a possitive approach of plural marriage. I am going to write a book. I will not need any help, like some illiterate people I know.
3. I am a media whore, so I will sell the movie rights. Maybe they will get Oliver Platt to play me.
4. I will be working all next week at the only airbrush T-shirt stand at Utah State Fair. Stop by and say hi, or shoot me, or something.
Om, Shanti, Peace,
Moroni
So I drove all night, eating pistachios to keep me awake. I experienced the longest rush hour of my life (from Riverside to LA). (How do you people do it?) I checked into the Marriott. (Checked to see if the Book of Mormon was in the dresser drawer. It was.)
I called Hank to see if he was at the Incubator office, thinking maybe I would take a cab to Hollywood and meet him and possibly the mysterious Simon. But it is Friday afternoon; they are heading out. But Hank did give me some news:
1. There are talks about airing Extreme Wife in the States - maybe.
2. "Rites of Passion/ Strange History" - due to air in January.
3. He will try to get me copies once they air.
4. He says that Charlie has been reading my blog. (You rock, Charlie!)
Hank is one awesome dude.
Here are some other tidbits from my life:
1. I went to the library. I saw on the "new book" section another anti-polygamy rant. They are now becoming prolific like Nancy Drew books - and ghostwritten, all of them.
2. I decided that it is time for a possitive approach of plural marriage. I am going to write a book. I will not need any help, like some illiterate people I know.
3. I am a media whore, so I will sell the movie rights. Maybe they will get Oliver Platt to play me.
4. I will be working all next week at the only airbrush T-shirt stand at Utah State Fair. Stop by and say hi, or shoot me, or something.
Om, Shanti, Peace,
Moroni
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