It is interesting that - no matter what job I take -
being a polygamist becomes a factor. Those who know
me know that I left a job as a social worker for the
State of Arizona after ten years due to my lifestyle.
The job I took after that was a position as a project
administrator for a company that remodels hotels all
over the country. It is a Utah company, although the
owners are not Mormon.
But since they are located in Utah, they hire many
Mormons. In particular, they hire many Mormon
polygamists, who gravitate towards the construction
industry, for some reason. The company had already
had a background for hiring many polygamists when I
came on board.
My last name is a dead giveaway, and, at a hotel in
Connecticut, when I met the owner of the company - a
rather school-teacher-ish kind of guy - the first
thing he asked me was, "How many wives do YOU have?"
To which I made some vague reply like : "Too many."
The boss introduced me to a bunch of crew chiefs in
San Diego like this: "This is Moroni. He has two
wives."
What ensued was an argument - that I was strangely
excluded from - between several tattooed and pierced,
beer-drinking returned missionaries who argued whether
or not I was a real Mormon.
One guy finally said, "He's the REAL Mormon. We gave
up our teachings. He's sticking to them."
The boss was very intrigued by my lifestyle, and every
chance we got, he would ask me questions. "How do you
do it?"
He confided to me about his own relationship. He
was not a Mormon; his wife was a devout Mormon. It
caused a conflict.
"Moroni, if I ever become a Mormon, I'll become a
Mormon like you, with lots of wives. I'd have one
wife run the accounting end of the business. I'd have
one wife who could do real estate, etc."
"The problem is," I told my boss, "you think that you
will run your wives like you run your business. But
the problem is - invariably one of your wives will be
like Pat."
Pat was our painter who was always bitching and
moaning, causing problems and just generally
disruptive.
My boss laughed.
I left the company in July, 2005, and came back to
them just 4 weeks ago. Already, talk started
circulating among employees of the company that a
"polygamist" was coming to work with them.
My roommate was the relative of a guy I knew. This
guy was well aware that I am a polygamist. I am sure
that he told his roommate.
I guess I got sick of having to explain myself or
justify myself. So I resolved to not even talk about
it, unless he asked about it.
I could see the confused expression on his face as I
talked about "my wife".
It became a game to me. One day, after work, we went
swimming, and he said, "You have, like, 4 kids, or
something, right?"
"Actually," I answered, "I have 9 kids."
"Yeah, someone told me something about that." That
was the closest I would come to telling him.
One night, Big Love came on HBO, so we watched it
together.
Afterwards, he asked, "So people really live like
that? Why would anyone want to live like that?"
I just shrugged.
I talked to my supervisor, and he said, "Yeah, he told
me that you haven't said anything about being a
polygamist. I told him that you probably wouldn't
either."
The way I look at it - I am not ashamed of who I am.
But I am not going to parade it around to satisfy
people's curiosity, either. If they want to know,
they have to have the "cajones" to ask me right out,
you know what I'm saying?
The problem is - I think many on the hotel staff know,
too. I see it in the funny looks I get. It's nice to
be an oddity, a spectacle. I just wonder what is so
tough about asking someone, you know?
Anyway, my two cents,
Moroni
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