Once in a Lifetime - Same As It Ever Was...

Sometime in November, I got an email from a production company called Sirens Media. They were looking to do a program on Lifetime Network. They were looking for a family that was in the process of adding another wife to their family. They asked me if I was adding a wife to my family, and, if not, did I know anybody who was getting ready for a polygamous marriage.

Usually, I am polite. So I wrote them back and said that I didn't know of anybody who was adding to their family, and that I didn't have any plans for myself. But if I heard of anybody, I would let them know.

Periodically, those of us in the polygamy world - those of us online, anyway - we will get blanket emails from these production companies. We will even talk about these offers amongst ourselves.

The world is full of rip-offs. It was obvious that Sirens Media - and Lifetime - were ripping off the whole premise of "Sisterwives" on TLC - a man adding a plural wife to his family. (But then "Sisterwives" is riding the wake of "Big Love". So everyone is a copycat, and no one is original. Except me.)

This time, my buddy - whom I will call Poly-Austin DH (or DH for short) - answered the call. My buddy lives in the Midwest and was getting ready to add two wives to his family. Essentially, the show was going to be about marriage, and they were going to follow twelve scenarios featuring unconventional marriage situations. DH adding two wives to his family, and their family would take up one segment of their series.

I had already been talking to DH about traveling to the Midwest to see him and his family for a while. This show would be the perfect opportunity for me to travel out. DH asked if I would be the one to perform the marriages. I told him that I would be honored.

There was one issue - the Mormon wedding ceremony, which we call "Sealing" is a sacred ceremony to us. It is part of our temple endowment. All of our temple ceremonies are secret. We do them in privacy. We don't discuss them. And we CERTAINLY don't perform them in front of TV cameras.

In the old days, back in the days when the FBI and the Mormon Church were trying to root out all polygamists, you didn't know who was married to who. You may know that Sister So-And-So was married, but you might not know to whom. And you certainly would not know where they were married, when they were married, or who performed the sealing. Sealing is very sacred.

In my mind, to perform a sealing ceremony in front of the cameras was something that crossed a line for me. I may be willing to say or do just about anything on TV, but performing a sealing is not one of the them. Right away, DH and I agreed on that. We decided that I would perform a tailored married ceremony in front of the cameras, and a sealing off camera.

So we set a date to film in January. In the meantime, I spoke to the producers about it. Around this time, I was contacted by producers from France. (I will speak about this in my next post.) They were travelling all the way from Europe, and their filming schedule conflicted with my trip to the Midwest. But the prospect of filming me perform a plural marriage was something that appealed to them. The French crew wanted to join in the Midwest to film DH's wedding as well. I ran this by Sirens Media, and, of course, they shot down that idea.

The week before I was supposed to travel to the Midwest, I started to get somewhat nervous. I wasn't feeling well. My legs were still swollen; I had a bleeding ulcer on the bottom of my foot. Me being gone was putting pressure on my girls, and I had a lot to do around the house to prepare for MY film shoot the new week. The thought of traveling on a plane while I felt horrible and tired didn't sound fun.

I took all of these anxieties and realized that I did not feel good about going on this shoot. Even though it was a few days before I was supposed to go, I called DH. I told him that I would not be coming to perform his marriage. He was understanding. I sent an email to the producers. In desperation, they tried to call and make me a better deal. (By the way, they would be paying me nothing - just my plane ticket.)

I felt so much better when I decided not to go.

In considering how to help them, I had a moment of inspiration. There is a Christian preacher in the Southwest that I know of who believes in polygamy. I suggested him as a replacement. It turns out that they already had him slated as my replacement. It shows me that my inspiration was true. Within a few days, he was on my plane to the Midwest to perform the weddings.

I'm not sure how it went, but the wives kind of intimated to me that things didn't go as well as they had hoped.

For instance, in their contract, they were not to be paid until AFTER the program aired on Lifetime. That is such crap! I guess that Sirens Media are a bunch of cheapskates. When we did filming with Dawn Porter, Incubator handed us a check upon the completion of filming.

On top of that, the preacher - they paid his airfare and hotel, but nothing for food. He posted on Facebook that he had to raise money just to be able to eat. Again, what cheapskates! They don't pay him for his time and expect him to feed himself? I'm kind of glad that I didn't do it, even though I am a media whore.

Tomorrow, I will talk about the show we did for French TV....

PS Sirens Media called me about a month ago asking me if I knew ANOTHER family getting ready to enter plural marriage...