So, the White Mountains has been assaulted by snow for the last several days, and I haven’t had much chance to get online. I have been meaning to make a series of posts that deal with my “Living Conditions”. I put that in capital letters, because this seems to be the main criticism that I have drawn. Even Dawn Porter, as her van withdrew from my humble abode, seemed to be gasping – not so much at the polygamy – but at our living conditions.
Take the following selection from one blog as an example:
http://kelley-penonpaper.blogspot.com/2008/11/tube-review-forbidden-love-polygamy.html
“Dawn then goes out into the wilderness of Arizona to meet with a Polygamist man who agrees to meet with her on camera. None of the more "Respectable" men were willing to go on camera. Moroni is a man who's made his life in literally the middle of no where. They live in a trailer that Dawn describes as being like the Tardis, (surprisingly spacious for it's outward appearance) which cracked me up. When she speaks with this family, the differences are quite obvious, this man is indeed in love with these women and he does provide a life life for them and his children as well. But living in isolation as they do, where they have removed their oldest children from mainstream education, opens them to further probing questions. Dawn asks Moroni if he were in a monogamous relationship with Martha, his first wife, that he would indeed have committed adultery, that he is a polygamist at heart. But aside from that, he admits to the hardship of being a polygamist husband, and that it was so difficult the first year, that both women were alternately angry with with him, and one day they were all ok. He also admits to being afraid that he won't be able to satisfy the sexual demands of his wives, but they are still on the market for a third wife, in their tiny hovel that has no electricity or plumbing.”
This post was pretty typical. The first thing I wondered was – what the heck is a TARDIS?? Then I Googled it. It is an acronym that stands for TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSIONS IN SPACE. This refers to a structure that is smaller on the outside, but much larger on the inside. Kind of like tents in Harry Potter. The term originated on the TV show Dr. Who (remember the elevator?), and I loved Dr. Who.
The term fits so well. It really does look smaller on the outside than it is on the inside. It is small, but it feels like home.
The question is – how did we wind up in such a small space? Was it by design? I hope to answer that.
First of all, I must say – even though I am a “dirt poor construction worker”, I am certainly not Mr. Fix-it. My wives have been cursed by the fact that they married a man who couldn’t lift up a hammer to save his life. I was the quintessential suburban kid. I wasn’t raised on a farm. I spent my early years in retail. I never built anything. I would rather read a book than chalk a line. My part in the construction industry has always been administrative. I am the paperwork guy on the jobsite.
As I said, this has been the curse of my wives. They would have had a better life if I was Mr. Fix-it. This is something that any man considering to homestead it should consider before he goes into the wild.
When Incubator TV first approached me, I had no trepidation about speaking publically about plural marriage. The first thing that I thought about was people seeing where (and how) we live. We rarely have guests, because we don’t have an adequate living room space. We have nowhere for guests to stay the night, because every available bed space is being used in our home. We usually put guests up at my mom’s more comfortable accommodations nearby.
We nearly said no to the whole thing, mainly because of our living conditions. So when a stranger comments on our “hovel”, we feel it very keenly. We are not forcing ourselves to live in this way due to some ascetic practice – it has been all circumstantial.
In my next post, I will have to take you all the way back. I will discuss United Order, the Law of Consecration, communism, Marxism and how these relate to Mormonism and my lifestyle.
By the way, the photos in this segment were all taken by my daughter Sophie.
Take the following selection from one blog as an example:
http://kelley-penonpaper.blogspot.com/2008/11/tube-review-forbidden-love-polygamy.html
“Dawn then goes out into the wilderness of Arizona to meet with a Polygamist man who agrees to meet with her on camera. None of the more "Respectable" men were willing to go on camera. Moroni is a man who's made his life in literally the middle of no where. They live in a trailer that Dawn describes as being like the Tardis, (surprisingly spacious for it's outward appearance) which cracked me up. When she speaks with this family, the differences are quite obvious, this man is indeed in love with these women and he does provide a life life for them and his children as well. But living in isolation as they do, where they have removed their oldest children from mainstream education, opens them to further probing questions. Dawn asks Moroni if he were in a monogamous relationship with Martha, his first wife, that he would indeed have committed adultery, that he is a polygamist at heart. But aside from that, he admits to the hardship of being a polygamist husband, and that it was so difficult the first year, that both women were alternately angry with with him, and one day they were all ok. He also admits to being afraid that he won't be able to satisfy the sexual demands of his wives, but they are still on the market for a third wife, in their tiny hovel that has no electricity or plumbing.”
This post was pretty typical. The first thing I wondered was – what the heck is a TARDIS?? Then I Googled it. It is an acronym that stands for TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSIONS IN SPACE. This refers to a structure that is smaller on the outside, but much larger on the inside. Kind of like tents in Harry Potter. The term originated on the TV show Dr. Who (remember the elevator?), and I loved Dr. Who.
The term fits so well. It really does look smaller on the outside than it is on the inside. It is small, but it feels like home.
The question is – how did we wind up in such a small space? Was it by design? I hope to answer that.
First of all, I must say – even though I am a “dirt poor construction worker”, I am certainly not Mr. Fix-it. My wives have been cursed by the fact that they married a man who couldn’t lift up a hammer to save his life. I was the quintessential suburban kid. I wasn’t raised on a farm. I spent my early years in retail. I never built anything. I would rather read a book than chalk a line. My part in the construction industry has always been administrative. I am the paperwork guy on the jobsite.
As I said, this has been the curse of my wives. They would have had a better life if I was Mr. Fix-it. This is something that any man considering to homestead it should consider before he goes into the wild.
When Incubator TV first approached me, I had no trepidation about speaking publically about plural marriage. The first thing that I thought about was people seeing where (and how) we live. We rarely have guests, because we don’t have an adequate living room space. We have nowhere for guests to stay the night, because every available bed space is being used in our home. We usually put guests up at my mom’s more comfortable accommodations nearby.
We nearly said no to the whole thing, mainly because of our living conditions. So when a stranger comments on our “hovel”, we feel it very keenly. We are not forcing ourselves to live in this way due to some ascetic practice – it has been all circumstantial.
In my next post, I will have to take you all the way back. I will discuss United Order, the Law of Consecration, communism, Marxism and how these relate to Mormonism and my lifestyle.
By the way, the photos in this segment were all taken by my daughter Sophie.
3 comments:
I have to say I'm sorry for calling your home a "hovel" that was rude of me. You seemed incredibly down to earth and very vulnerable and sincere in your interview, and I respected your candor on the show. You were so much more brave than your counter part from the "Well To Do" area. Their homes may be spatious mansions, but your home seemed to be the more "real" of the households. I liked how open you were about your fears and limitations. And I thought your wives were extremely sincere and loving as well.
I don't live in a large house, and have had people look down their nose at me in the past, and I'm sorry if that is how I came across to you.
To put it mildly, I was surprised you'd read my blog, and after contemplating whether I should re-write it, I decided to let my response be a starting point, where I can learn a litte from you.
I never meant to hurt anyone, and I hope you'll forgive me for saying unkind things about your home.
In my post about your home I also mentioned something about no electricity or plumbing, but I realized just now, that it only appeared that way on tv, and that I don't know that to be the case for sure...do you have electricity and/or plumbing?
Kelley,
No need to apologize. Your blog did not offend me, and I actually consider it to be one of the more positive responses (which was why I addressed it.)
Trust me - you have not said anything about my house that is any worse that what I have personally said about it.
Our electricity is provided by generator and batteries. We have water coming up to the house, but not into the house, and we do have plumbing.
Actually many, many people in our area (even non-Mormons) live the same way in our region.
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