In November, 2010, I got a phone call from a producer of a company called Ligne de Front in Paris, France. The guy's name was Ted Anspach, and he had been referred to me by Morgane Corbeuil, the French reporter who contacted me in 2009. Yes, the French TV crew that stood me up the DAY BEFORE we were supposed to do a shoot.
He was producing a polygamy segment for a TV show called "52 Minutes" for a French network called m6. This was like their equivalent of America's "60 Minutes". The purpose of the show was to demonstrate polygamous arrangements in a manner that the French are not used to. In France, when they think of polygamy, they immediately think of the Muslim population, and the unpleasant sentiments the French have about having these people in their country. They wanted to demonstrate polygamy in a different light. This included showing a Mormon family.
In an email to me, Ted wrote:
"Your personal experience is very important to us, as I would like to dedicate part of the documentary on plural marriages within the Mormon community.
"As you know better than me, it remains a very sensitive topic to deal with, in both the US and Europe. Therefore, I firmly believe it's important to present plural marriages, in a non judgemental way, so the public will be able to make its own decision on what they should think about it, beyond the usual stigma and prejudice.
"In order to fulfill this challenge, I am looking for a nice American family who could represent and defend plural marriages as a religious right, but a right that needs to stay within the limits of the respect of human beings: A decision made between consenting adults with no kind of pressure whatsoever or husband's domination on the wives.
"As we discussed, I do believe yourself and your family would be the perfect candidates for this testimony. "
It sounded pretty good to me. I immediately said yes, for this reason:
Morgane had already established to me that French journalists do not pay for exclusive interviews, so I had to find some other reason to do this. My reason was my love for France, Belgium and French-speaking people.
For some reason, I was drawn to the French language from the time I was a little boy. I remember being a little boy and going to a grocery store. At the checkout stand, they had a pocket-sized book on how to learn French. Every time I went to the grocery store, I wished that I had enough money to buy it.
As a high school freshman, I dropped out of band. I didn't like the teacher, and the trombone mouthpiece was chilling my teeth. There was no other class available except French. As the band teacher signed my release slip, he sneered, "I tell you what. You come back in one month and tell me just how much you like French!"
By the time I graduated, I had taken all four years of French. Students from Belgium had come to our school, and I had befriended them. (Some of these students still keep in touch.)
In 1988, I went to Belgium as an exchange student for six weeks. It was there that I picked up a knack for the language. For the next six years, I worked with my old high school teacher and her Belgian exchange program until she retired. I worked at Holiday Inn Reservations as a French agent. I taught French for six years for Salt Lake Continuing Education, St. Johns High School and for our fundamentalist Mormon community.
I have always loved French culture and don't tolerate fellow Americans to speak ill of this culture around me.
But over the years, my French has got a little rusty. Where in rural Arizona can I practice my French?
My line of reasoning - there is a REASON that I felt driven to learn French. There has to be. Who better to represent Mormon polygamy to the French than me? Seriously! I had to do this show. So I decided immediately - yes! Then I went to my girls about it.
Morgane had not impressed that I spoke French, not one bit. Ted, on the other hand, was delighted. We set plans for filming in December.
I went home and talked to my wives about it. We collectively agreed not to breathe a word about it until after it was over. The fallout from our last TV shoot was burdensome to us. To this day, we still catch flack from family/ friends for making that decision and bringing the media into our lives. The way we looked at it - they did not NEED to know anything about it. It was - and still is not - Any. Of. Their. Damn. Business. Period.
So we kept it hush hush...
December came, and I had not heard a peep from Ted. I started to get concerned that we were going to get stood up again. In the middle of the month, I got an email. They were going to postpone it until January, 2011. I kind of saw where this was heading. But none of us were going to be broken-hearted if it didn't happen.
Around Christmas, we heard from Ted again. They were definitely coming around January 21 & 22. It was tremendous the freedom that he gave us. He wanted us to come up with our own schedule. They wanted us to be a normal, polygamist family, doing whatever it is we do, and they would merely be observers. This was tremendous freedom compared to our previous experience. But it also put some pressure on us. We are boring people. What can we do to look interesting?
Ted suggested that we plan to go to a rodeo (in January??). "You know the European fantasies of the American way-of-life," he said.
In the days before the shoot, I started to practice French. It was important for me to do as much of the interviews as I could in the French language. I listened to French music, I watched French movies and read aloud from a French Book of Mormon every day. At first my tongue felt like a dead fish flopping around in my mouth. But then the fluency started to return. On days that Temple worked, she would leave the toddler with me. He would look at me in confusion as I rattled away in French to him.
And of course, the cleaning - who wants to show their house looking like a mess on - not national - but international TV?? But I told the girls not to stress about it. No need to get stressed about it. We weren't going to kill ourselves trying to impress anyone with our rural living - especially since TLC flayed us over our living conditions.
A few days before the shoot, I got a phone call from Ted. They were in Quebec, Canada, doing a shoot with a polyamorous family over there. From Canada, they would be flying to Phoenix. From Phoenix, they would be driving to the White Mountains to meet us.
Ted impressed me by asking this question: "Is there anything that is important for you to say? Is there some topic that is important for you to express while we interview you?"
Ted sold me on that question alone. That he would even CARE to ask that...
The day before the shoot, I decided to let the proverbial cat on the bag. I posted on Facebook that we were about to do a film shoot. Boy, was Temple upset with me! But I figured - there was no turning back now.
So on January 20th, we finished the cleaning and waited to go in front of the cameras. yet again. I will talk about our experience tomorrow...
